Are people as polite as they once were?
I was talking the other day to some friends of mine and they brought up an interesting subject,They said that they belive SOME people today especially todays senior citizens have developed into a ME,ME,ME generation or maybe it’s a you owe me generation. (Now I don’t necessarily agree with the senior citizen part) It used to be if you drove down the road people walking on the side of the road made sure they gave the vehicles driving on the road the right of way (because quite frankly we all new in the old days that getting hit by a car could hurt you BIG TIME)but today in the seu happy world that we live in people almost dare you to hit them just so they can collect a big pay day. Also, I absolutely hate going into a store because instead of people giving each other the courtesy that everyone wants and deserves people act as if you owe them something and it’s their right to get in front of you or cut in front of you because they think their more important than you and what their doing is far more important than you and anything that you could be doing. I always thought store shopping edicate was like driving a car in that you remained on the far right side of the isle that your heading down and that if someone needed something on the side of the isle that you were on they would either wait for you to get by or if you were looking for something and was moving a little slower than they figured you should be at the very least say to the person excuse me or please excuse my reach. Or have we become so self absorbed in our lives that our stores need traffic lights at the intersections of the isles and isle police officers patrolling the isles of the stores to give citations when we break the law of NOT considering others first instead of ourselves and our fast paise lives. Folks I truly hope the world can return back to a day when we looked out for one another and when we went to a store the people there generally seemed happy to see and help you. Or could it be those days are in the past along with $.15 loaves of bread,$1.00 a gallon gasoline and cars that we can actually fix on our own without having to be computer specialist? I’m not saying all the old times were perfect but I have to say if something doesn’t change in the near future I hate to see what this worlds going to become. So what do all of you think,? does this world need an attitude adjustment or are we all happy with just the way that it is?
Sincerely,
Jim at Clark Customs
Replies
Every generation has complaints about the degeneration of society. I have complaints aobut posts that don't have paragraph breaks in them. They give me a headache. What's the world coming to? ROFL! Where's the Cafe when we need it?
Ah! The 'Wall of Words' syndrome fg, usually a stream of consciousness thing. Unreadable of course, but Clark did get it off his chest, whatever it was, ha, ha. Slainte.Richard Jones Furniture
Yep. The guy obviously does not have a firm grasp of punctuation and paragraph lay out. There's a lot of that around here (and here is another fine example).
But, last I looked, this is a woodworker's forum. Would it be fair to expect people who post on writer forums to be good woodworkers?
And, yes, I do believe that people are less polite these days than in days past.
ChuckN and I have nothing of value to add to this discussion.
No.
(sort of a "counterpoint") type answer.
Jim,
I find fewer and fewer people calling me a PITA as I get older. Now it's just my wife when we have a "debate" and she knows I'm right.
That's OK cause she's the PITA whenever she's right!
<:G>
Regards,
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
Edited 6/7/2007 8:31 am ET by KiddervilleAcres
I'm pretty much in agreement; however, too much of a good thing can be irritating too.
For example, I hate it when I am on a road with the right-of-way in my favor, behind someone who decides to do another driver a favor. (The other driver by all rights should wait for traffic to clear). The driver in front of me stops, waves kindly to the other driver to come on out, and I am stuck waiting along with a few cars behind me. In effect, the driver has done one person a favor at the expense of a number of others.
Unfortunately, Karma seldom seems to place me in the position of holding up a procession of vehicles as a good samaritan steps in to make my life easier.
The understanding of "respect" is quickly vanishing from our society!
It kind of makes a person wonder what it is that could be done to rectified or maybe at least turn things around just a little bit to make people understand that life's a whole lot easier without all the controversy of people being so rude and what a bit of politeness could do for a person. Just think at the very least the blood pressure companies wouldn't make quite as much as they are now. Could it be that they are the ones behind all the rudeness in the world just so they can make millions off of nerve and blood pressure medicine?. Ok so I know that theory sounds ridiculous but no more ridiculous than people getting shot for accidently cutting someone off on a freeway or some unsuspecting women getting beaten and raped because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess what I'm striving to say is if we all just took a bit of time to treat others how we would like to be treated the world would be a lot better off..........Ummmmm scratch that because some folks are into so pretty sadistic stuff and like all the pain and meanness that's inflicted on them. I guess just try being courteous to just one person today either by it being a hello or an excuse me or may I help you. People might be really quite surprised how infectious being polite really is.
SincerelyJim at Clark Customs
Let’s see….Nostalgia for the old days, say circ 1900 or so, OK I’ll bite.
Average life expectancy for a man 47.
Most people died within 25 miles of their birthplace, never having traveled further.
Bathing once a week.
Clean clothing one a week.
Only owning two maybe three sets of clothes.
Hobby woodworking? Only for the rich, everyone else works a six day week, ten hour days.
Catch the flu, you die.
Appendix ruptures, you die.
Tooth ache, they pull it, without anesthetic, and maybe you die.
Child birth, one in three die.
Relatives in the next state? You may never be able to see them.
News? Wait for the paper and its very biased slant on the events.
Going to High School? Almost never.
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As too people being nice. How do we know? We only get what is written by the nice people from that time. In 1858 the Senator from <!----><!---->South Carolina<!----> beat the Senator from <!----><!---->Connecticut<!----><!----> with his cane into a coma that he never recovered from. He did this in the Senate chambers! No action was taken; in fact, his constituents sent him new canes to replace the one he broke.
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Don’t confuse civility with things being better. In the course of six thousand years of recorded history humans have only one consistent theme, we are very good at being very bad to each other.
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Are we busy today? Sure, and we live longer and better than anytime in our history.
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Oh yeah, paragraph breaks would be a lot of help.
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I'll be polite...please use paragraphs....
Are people less polite.....
Which people?
Lataxe, one in 6.? billion (not counting the 10 gazillion aliens and also those additional aliens in the 20 drozillian other galaxies(and I yarn't counting the beings in those other universes off to the side).
PS I am always polite - will this affect the averages?
Afterthought: Or are we just talking 'bout Parochia, USA?
AHHHHHHH,Please excuse my lack of paragraphs, Or even my lack of eticate for that matter. And don't even get me started on my lack of knowing how to spell.I never said I was a rogue scholar,What I did ask was, what you all thought of how polite todays generation really is? But I suppose with some of the responses that I got it's much easier to find fault than to actually admit that there might actually be a problem. While I agree that people died of many,many things that we do'nt have to worry about today , A person has to admit that one thing that they didn't have to worry about that we as a society do today is the problem of over population. So does that mean just maybe the way things were could have been considered the natural order of life? Huh,now lets see, Your born,if your lucky you live to somewhat of an old age, while living you work hard to survive for you and your family,Then you die. But if your unlucky you die of some sort of flu bug,TB or just maybe your really unlucky and get kicked in the head by the family mule. One things the same that it was back then,you take up as much ground today when your dead and barried as they did back then. (The biggest difference is your family back then didn't have to put a second or third mortgage on the place to be able to stick your dead hiney in the ground)BUT WAIT JUST A MINUTE I'm getting to far off the original topic of politeness. Please belive me I met no offence to anyone when I posted the question,of course that is unless some of you have a problem with the question at hand? then yes you(and you know who you are) should have a problem with the task of being polite. Oh and as far as only rich people woodworking years ago, That's correct, only the rich did have the time to do such things considered to be so frivolous back then. They needed something to take up the hours of the day. Personally, I think back then when people built stuff for them selves and their families it wasn't what we considered today as being a hobby or a job that we choose to partake in. No I think it was far more important than that, in fact I think probably since there wasn't any local lumber,grocery,or furniture stores I think instead of it being known as a hobby it was known more as survival.
Thank you all for your responses, And believe me I count on all of you keep me on the level or at the very least between the lines or maybe just a 1/8 of a bubble off one way or the other,I'm fine with that,
Sincerely,
Jim at Clark Customs
Jim,
Well, I think your lack of concern about your standards for communicting is rather ill-mannered. My poor old eyes are hurting at having to read those monolithic paragraphs; and my brain finds it hard to process those flows of consciousness. :-)
But seriously.................. ;-/
You can ask blithley about the politeness quotient of a whole society but this presupposes that there is a society that's "whole" and that some sort of politeness average of its constituents would actually mean something. In practice, we all live in several overlapping micro-societies and are members of only a very few of the huge number of such societies that exist out there in the meme-aether.
So, I find:
My neighbours in Galgate more polite than they were when I lived in Lancaster city centre.
Most authority figures I come across are much more polite to the citizenry these days than they were 4 decades ago (eg policemen, teachers, doctors, managers).
As ever, the youths I meet are generally too preoccupied with fashion, their hormones and their imagined profile to their peers (especially the opposite sex peers) to have time to remember manners. No change there then.
Friends and acquaintances who are members of my own generation are a bit over-concerned with their rights rather than their duties, these days. But they are also much more aware of others and their possible sensitivities - eg rascism, sexism and other grossly prejudiced behaviours are verboten now; this seems to have had a generalised effect in that "acceptance of the alien" is now a practiced habit with most people.
There are many more rude drunken men present in the town-centres I know than there were 30 or 40 years ago. However, rude drunken men existed back then too - they were just less-tolerated than they are now.
Internet sites like Knots are surprisingly well-behaved, unless the subject matter is one of those inherently-controversial thangs (politics et al). Conversing with real aliens does eduate the participants concerning good manners, as there are often more conventions of manners to learn and practice if you want to avoid getting flamed.
******
Of course, these observations are entirely parochial to the circles in which I move. Others will have very different experiences concerning the politeness quotient and its local fluctuations.
What was the object of asking the question though - just remind me if you would? (No rambling, monolithic paragraphs or confusing grammar, please, as this is impolite within Internet discussion groups).
Lataxe of Galagate Parish
Hello Lataxe,
I think it's obvious that Jim had a baaad day before his originally long paragraphed post was submitted .
Most of us have probably felt similar after equally lousy experiences as well . We mostly don't whine about it openly as has Jim .
Perhaps Jim was given the one finger salute while in traffic , or even worse while grocery shopping he may have been cutoff by anothers shopping cart .
Maybe his Horoscope didn't go right that day , could be his mechanic put the pistons in backwards in his old Porsche and it blew up, those may be considered substantial reasons for ranting in controlled rage .
O.K. I'll bring it to a level I know you would be able to relate to .
Your neighbor grabs a few of your Marcou's drills holes in them and screws a pair of skates under them and rides down the lane , off goes your Marcou,s ,,,,,easy , easy now it's all in what it takes to get you spun up .
time to make some dust
dusty
I cannot remember the context of this, but a traveller between towns met someone going the other way. "What are the people like where you are coming from?" he was asked. "Pretty much the same as those in the town you have left" was the reply.
Happy dusting!
My take on this is that many/most people tend (and have always tended) to treat strangers as objects that are somewhat less than human; the exception being if they make an excellent first impression. For example, in a grocery store or a crowded mall or on the road, they are merely obstacles.
In cities at least, there are a lot more total strangers around, so a lot more folks who think you're subhuman roaming the streets.
Add to this the fact that younger/faster people are (and always have been) impatient with slower/older people, and you start to become the object of a lot more rudeness as you get older. So the older generation ALWAYS thinks the younger generation has gone to, um, heck in a h*ndbasket.
In short, I don't think individuals have, on average, become any ruder than they used to be. But a combination of the above factors means each of us experience a lot more rudeness now than a few decades ago.
MikeTo the man with a hammer, all the world is a nail.
Well, I guess I can consider that I've been put in my place, I suppose what the original friends said that started the whole conversation truly does make even more sence now that i've talked to all of you about this situation.........................OH LOOK AT THE PRETTY BIRDY!!!!!.........
1) Make all the excuses in the world,2)pretend there's not a problem,and 3)keep peoples attensions away from any problems at hand. BUT when a real problems do arise I can count on knowing folks like mr lataxe and mr dusty will be there at the head of the line complaining that somthing should have been done by "SOMEONE" long before it got to be such a problem.
Oh yea, who here heard anything about such a thing like 9-11 happening before it happened and for that matter if we are such a polite society like some of US like to think we are how come there's more prisons in the world today than ever before?????I have to beleive all those prisons can't be full to capasity with all those nice people that some here have been talking so much about. I can't beleive the criminals are there becouse their such nice people. I know i'ts neive to think but who knows if sometime in their lives somone would had taken some time with them and showed them a bit of kindness. Maybe just maybe we wouldn't need quite so many prisons.
I apologise that this topic got so far off from what it was intended to be, I'd really like to trust that everyone here does say excuse me,pardon me,or for that matter just give a nod to someone if you can't bring yourselves to do anything else. But from some of the responces that I got it really makes me wonder??????
Naaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!your all right,who am I to say anything????? The worlds perfect just the way it is. LOL
SincerelyJim at Clark Customs
More prisons, hum.. Did you ever thing that is because there are so many more people now?<!----><!----><!---->
Jim ,
First off , this computer chat is real easy to take the wrong way , like if a person is smiling and totally pulling your chain , you have no way of knowing in some cases , and we can easily mis interpret and read what may not be there .
Seems I remember you posting some good legit type of questions as a newer pro shop , Myself and others kindly advised and opined you I'm sure of it . The mass of experienced and other good question answerers that cheerfully come to service is why I hang around .
So , about the only thing I know to do to help create the better and more polite way of living is to try and leave a positive impression when ever possible , make someone else's life better for a minute or a day .
Give of your time not just your money , peace !
regards dusty
Respect... and most other things in lifeYou got to give it .... to get it...if you demand it or expect it- you'll be dissapointed sometimes.Dave
I guess maybe I'm expecting to much from so little. I'ts evident that no matter the subject there's going to be nay sayers. As far as getting the one fingered salute," that never did happen, at least anywhere near when I brought up this post. I thought I was simply asking a question, Never dreaming to have edicate or anything else for that matter get so far off the topic that I originally asked your opinions about. At the time I valued what the majority of you had to say,and was curious to see what you responses would be.
As far as making things long and drawn out and using words that I have no idea what they mean, I've tried not to be guilty of that, If it looks,feels and smells like Poo,Poo then no matter what you call it, It's still POO. So since I'm guilty of run on sentences and poor penmanship than yes", it's POO!
As far as what this post was supposed to be about", Well it's got so far off of it's original intentions of it's topic, To tell the truth I forgot myself.
Let me be the first to say" Nice Job"
I honestly can say I for one will try extra hard to be polite and teach by example and if I can be of any help to anyone,I'll do my very best to do what I can to help. Being a foster parent makes it rather difficult sometimes (I'ts not the kids but the system that drives me nuts)but I'll make time if at all possible.
Again thanks for your responses, Truly they gave me very helpful insite,
Sincerely,Jim at Clark Customs
Dusty,
There is now a local Galgate ordinance that Marcou-spoilers will be put in one of them gaols that Jim is on about. Moreover, I will take the trouble to become a magistrate so I can direct the gaolers to place the offender into a particularly bad stinkhole - perhaps Lancaster Castle, from whence various Beaks directed the hanging, drawing and quartering of olden-time offenders, such as elderly ladies accused of witchcraft or bread-stealing hungry children.
(Of course, the Beaks were most polite to the offenders as they dished out their Judgements. As you know, life was much better in the olden times, when everyone was Nice and Never a Cross Word was Spoken).
But I digress.
I was wondering - can you (or anyone, or even Jim) explain what this thread is about? I'm afraid I still haven't grasped its essence, old fool that I am.
Lataxe, trying to grasp some alien mannerisms and definitions ("polite" - not going to gaol)?
Hello. It almost pains me to participate in this discussion, but integrity demands it. The younger generation is OUR product. They are our children.Having said that, the unarguable observation that "It is what is is" must be foremost in your mind.Ugly,lousy,stupid things happen to good people.Fact of life.Accept it. "It ain't nothin' personal".Just other peoples' children pursuing the needs that drive them.Move it on.Things will never be as they were in earlier,politer times.Only one thing, really, that you can do about it. Treat your fellow man with the courtesy,tact and compassion with which you would wish to be treated.The result - any result - is influenced by your behaviour.It's called 'leadership by example'.On a day-to-day level,strive to have a truly positive impact on life.This 'rubs off' on the other peoples' children I mentioned above.Nothing you can do about about getting the finger in traffic,or some #@^% cutting into line ahead of you, of course, but it doesn't matter.Don't stew about that stuff, it's counter-productive.Focus on what you are capable of doing, that's positive.Politeness is a skill that younger folk don't even know they need.It allows the free and spontaneous sharing of information, for one thing.Poor young twirps don't even know they need to tap into older adults' experience and knowledge, until they hit ~25 or 26, when they start to feel shiftless and unhappy. Tough for them, good for more mature specimens who can take this opportunity to educate receptive individuals.I'm going back to woodworking now, 'cause shrinking's a bummer...
Perhaps some people are no longer as tolerant of those who have previously abused their privileged place in society. Big cars shouldn't automatically get the right of way. Foot travel and travel by bicycle is more environmentally friendly, so maybe you should give them the right of way. Someone is in your way at the grocery store? Just say "excuse me." They move. People are really pretty decent most of the time. People who complain about this sort of thing usually just want other people to get out of their way without having to ask. So, who is really self-centered here?
When conversing with people of all ages try saying “yes sir, no ma’am, etc. A lot of people appreciate it and it goes a long way in adding civility to a conversation.
I do believe people are NOT as polite as they once were. A few years back, I moved to a new house not far from a school. You should watch people as they drive their kids to/from school. We've even had kids hit by parents who are so into doing their own thing they pay no attention to where they are going (even driving down the wrong side of the road). Things like that were a very rare occurence when I was a kid. And don't get me started on "service" either in stores or, particularly, on the phone.
Bob
Bo,
Send them parents to Galgate, where we will teach them some manners (by example; Galgatians are not just polite but also friendly, accommodating and anxious to help everyone get real).
Alternatively, get the quacks to prescribe that Ritelin to the parents instead of their children. Surely they will then drive with due care and attention, albeit somewhat slowly.
Lataxe, Galagate Cultural Attache to the USA
Bob,
Yeeeeee! Now there's some scary stuff, People driving down the wrong side of the street. The worse part of it is at the time they think there's absolutely nothing wrong with what their doing.
I personally hope folks will start leading from example, I think if one person is decent to another then maybe the person that they was polite to will do the same. And then that person will be decent to another and then so on and so on and..........well you get the idea.
Lets all just hope that if politeness is infectious, some idiot doesn't find a cure. Unless that is if people get to be all that yucky,gooey sweetness kind of polite then we can all do without a whole lot of that...........Because not many of us really don't like the dentist. Ha Ha Ha....... Get it,"? Sweat,gooey, Dentist??????LOL "FORGET IT"
Ok,so maybe it's time for my crazy medicine??????
Again, Thanks all for your comments,
Sincerely,Jim at Clark Customs
My real job ( I am not a pro woodworker ) is in the fast food business and you know what, people are getting ruder and ruder. The seniors are getting more demanding and many seem to act as if they are owed so much. I can't count the times I have been berated by somebody for not having this or that on sale just for them only to see them drive off in a brand new cadillac.
It is not just the seniors though, everyone has a short fuse it seems like these days, Why? Are parents spread to thin working two jobs then trying to shuttle kids all over for sports ect that they have raw nerves. Is the guy in the suit that much more important than the 20 people in line ahead of him ( that managed to get up in time to stop for breakfast and arent running late ) that he needs to rude to every body. Can the person you are talking to on the cell phone wait one minute while you help the person who is being paid to help you do their job. I could go on for longer than most would want to read.
I attribute it all to a number of things including basic human nature. As I mentioned cell phones and the internet make it so easy to stay in touch with others that we have simply lost some basic interpersonal skills. When did somebody on a phone become more important than a human being right in front of you? Next, I think that the family model has pretty well been tossed out the window as there is no time for family dinners, weekends ect with all the extra curricular stuff in our lives. Finally there are those that can't resist an opprotunity to feel better about themselves by beatting somebody else down. If the guy with the degree wearing the suit is upset because he doesn't have enough material wealth the first person that fails him is going to catch the wrath of the big man. The poor 16 year old girl working her first job trying to earn money to go to college that goofs up counting his change back because schools only teach important math to kids is going to catch all hell when she shorts him a quarter.
Now don't get me wrong I have met people from all walks of life that I respect and would give the shirt off my back if they needed it. I have also realized that there are more places than the dump to find trash.
All this means nothing though if no solution can be offered, right. Well first we need to decide between bigger fancier hoses, cars, boats ect which ussually means work, work, work and this forgotten thing called family. Maybe instead of hauling three difernt kids to 3 diferent functions while dad works late dad should tell his boss "not tonight, it's family night" we are doing something together. Maybe instead of 5 televisions in the house with 200+ channels we could have one with about 20 and the family could decide what they wanted to watch together.
I could go on but if I don't get to bed I won't be in much frame of mind to be with my family tomarrow.
Reading this thread has been an absolute kick!!! Its fun to read individual ideas on any given subject.
I figure its the ole 1% rule. i.e. 1% of anything is not as good as the rest. People are still generally good at heart, but since there's alot more people now, then before, the 1% is a larger number. i.e. driving in the country versus driving in the city.
Then there's the "oops" factor, one we're all guilty of. No matter how polite, kind and generous we try to be, there's always a point in time where something we may do offends another person in some way--if we know about it we are usually human enough to offer an apollogy, but there are times we may offend someone and not know about it. Kind of a reverse 1%??
For those like kelsochris mentioned, who lead their lives on the cutting edge of stress, should take up a relaxing hobby...like woodworking!!!
Take care ya'll, Chris.
To do the right thing is the right thing to do.
KelsoChris,
YES!,YES!,YES! Yours is truly the best example of what I was trying my very best to get at. You my friend hit the proverbial nail square on the head. "Kudos" (Can you hear all the people that know exactly what you were talking about standing and giving you a warm, heartfelt round of "APPLAUSE and CHEERS"???? ) I hope in your mind you can hear it because if anyone deserves it ,You do.
Now since you were so eloquently able to get your point across (Since for some reason I could not even though people were able to respond) I just hope others will understand where your coming from.
I'm just simply(Again) asking for people to be a bit more tolerant and understanding with one another.
Hey, a person doesn't have to of had a bad day or have had the one finger salute given to them to relies that this country if just plain "RUDE" alls a person has to do is simply go shopping or drive down the road or for that matter stay at home and watch the people that goes past your house and see how many people look right at you and won't take the time to even nod their heads let alone wave. And don't even think of striking up a conversation because their just way to busy for that.
I'm not saying it's this way all over the world(Maybe some of you are lucky enough to live in a town called Mayberry and have a town sheriff by the name of Andy)but the majority of us don't.
Lady's and gentleman I'm not saying the worlds got to be perfect, I just hope we can all try to just be a little more tolerant of one another.
Truthfully,would a little nod or a wave hurt anyone??(people with broken arms and fingers are excluded) I relies we live in a faster paise world but come on being nice doesn't take that long, No matter how many excuses we try to make so we do'nt have to take a few seconds out for a fellow human being.
So come on,buck up,and try your darndest to be decent.............No matter how bad it hurts..........He He He
SincerelyJim at Clark Customs
You know though for all the crackpots I have had to contend with aver the last twenty years they are far outnumbered by the people whom I love to work with day to day. THe sad thing is that there are getting to be a lot more ***holes out there every year.
It probably boils down to the fact we all need to spend some time and reprioritize our lives. What comes first, family or job, children or status? There are a lot of people out there that chase after some goal in the pursuit of happiness thinking they will be a better person when they are through. Sadly I don't think many realize that you will only be as good in the end as you have been to others along the journey.
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