You’ve been in the shop too long when…
– you want to increase the power of your 14″ band saw by using the 3 hp motor from your table saw, all you need is 18′ of link belt to stretch between the two machines and you’re in business!
– your prized 3/8″ mortise chisel is actually an old Craftsman flat blade screwdriver that has been meticulously sharpened on your high speed bench grinder.
– you need a 12″ jointer, but can’t bring yourself to spend the $2000 on one, so instead to save money, you buy two $500 6″ jointers and weld them together!
– the concrete floor in your shop is giving you knee and back pain. Wall to wall anti-fatigue mats is impractical and expensive. So instead you buy one mat, trace the outline of the soles of your shoes on it, cut out the pieces, and glue them to the bottom of your footwear! Now you have anti-fatigue everywhere in the shop – not to mention in the driveway, in your car, down the street….
– you’re about to mark and measure the wood for your latest project, but can’t find any pencils, so instead you switch to a red, wide tipped Sharpie indelible marker.
– your definition of resawing changes from using a band saw to cut a thick piece of wood into thinner slices, to having to re-cut the same piece 5 or 6 times because you keep messing up the measurements.
– you’re convinced that Garrett Hack is the inventor of the Hack Saw.
– before you make a specialized cut on your table saw you do a little dance, because all of the pros say it will be much safer with a jig.
– you’ve become appalled at the unscrupulous behavior of certain professional woodworking instructors as they brazenly manage to talk about kickbacks in every lesson!
– after watching Wimbledon tennis, you rush to the phone and order an Agazzani band saw thinking “… if Andre can play that well, his band saw must be incredible!”
Dan Kornfeld, Owner/President – Odyssey Wood Design, Inc.
Edited 8/3/2003 9:19:51 PM ET by Jackie Chan
Replies
I certainly enjoyed your post.
Alan
The anti-fatigue mats sound like just the thing.
>> - you need a 12" jointer, but can't bring yourself to spend the $2000 on one, so instead to save money, you buy two $500 6" jointers and weld them together!
Very creative. If you've actually done this, and it functions properlly, my hat's off to you.
Overall, a very funny post.
As a matter of fact, or perhaps an apocryphal story, the way I heard it is that the first rubber heels on men's shoes came about in exactly this way.
The story goes that a machinist, or whatever, worked in a factory which had concrete floors. He had the same problem, so he brought a rubber mat to stand on.
Others saw the wisdom in that, so they stole his mat. When he got tired of replacing the mat, he cut out the shape of the heels of his shoes, nailed them on over (under) the leather heels, and enjoyed the benefits of the rubber mat without the risk of someone swiping his mat.
As I say, this may be apocryphal, and I don't even recall where I read it, but it purports to be how rubber heels on men's shoes came to be standard.
There is more truth than fiction in the rest of the post. Keep up the good work !
Dan I think you have been in the shop a little too long.:o)
Gods Peace
les
jackie,
Love your comments but you did leave out the main thing we do when we've been in the shop too long....we change it around to make it more efficient.
Last night I sat down there for two hours watching schellac dry..exciting stuff. By the end of the night I was ripping an 11"x1 3/4"x45" piece of pine to attach to my TS guide rail for a drop down out feed table....replacing my perfectly good roll-around outfeed table. Now, if I put a router in the drop down outfeed table, I can run a link belt over to the TS Motor....hmmm..
I can't tell you how many times I have done that.
Just this morning . . . and sudenly I am laying out a wall cabinet for my wood molding planes, wondering if 1:6 is OK for carcase dovetails in 12mm BB, never having cut dovetails in ply before, but thinking that I can use the new bandsaw jig for this joinery, which I built (from a David Charlesworth article) (but have not yet used) the last time a had a communion with my tools.
Being a knotsian, I wonder if this disease is contagious?
And finally --
Your wife calls you a troll, and you agree (for those basementers among us).
Alan
S4S,
I've go some 3/4, 1/2 and 3/8 BB that is just burning a hole in my pocket...can't figure what to waste it on. Becareful though, that stuff is so thin it splinters like crazy on the TS if not pre-scored ...however, a hand saw or band saw should be okay.
My wife doesn't mind if I stay in the dust old basement...unless I touch her tupperware to mix stuff. What gets her nervous is when I borrow the station wagon....she knows I'm going dumpster diving....lol.
My wife drives a Ford splash, a little pickup truck. When I borrow it she squirms, figuing I'm off to the mill. One time I went for a bit of figured cherry for drawer fronts, and come home with 12/4 maple (and the cherry). It is now a work bench, posted in Feb. I believe.
You have a soothing conversations with your tools and equipment...
Look forward to the next visit...
Take your meals in the shop...
The dog has become third rate...
Rig a power shaft for everything and use one motor...
Better yet...
Rip up the shop and move everthing near a stream...
Put a water wheel on the shaft...
Add a generator for the lights...
Let the power go out...
Who cares? Your "HOME" life is secure...
You have a soothing conversations with your tools and equipment...
This is bad?
What about singing to your shop when you enter, coffee in hand:
(to Beach Boy tune 'In my room")
There's a place where I can go and tell my troubles to....
In my woodshop.....
In my wood shop.
Is this bad?
Who said it was bad?
This a good thing.
The only bad thing is the dog feeling like a third rate citizen.
Put the coffee pot in the shop and spend the night.
You'll be among friends.
> ....Put a water wheel on the shaft...
This is an intersting comment - I worked recently with a fellow that had apprenticed in collonial Williamsburg and worked in a "single spindle" shop back on the east coast. One power shaft from the big waterwheel through the center of the shop space, under the floor. A series of pulleys and belts and levers used to control speed and "on & off" so to speak. Only the sound of the blade(s) turning to spoil the solitude of the shop experience.
Ahhhhh what we modern folk have missed out on ....
...........
Dennis in Bellevue WA
[email protected]
My grandfather had such a mill in Vermont. He made Oxen and draft horse drawn tobagans, skidders, frieght wagons, and sleds. 2 to 8 animal draw. Tree farmed for the raw material. In house wheel wright and black smith shops. Sundays was foray to the scrap metal yard for iron. Resident kiln. he did his own tack, harness and tanning work.
The heat generated from the black smith shop was used for the kiln and heated the shop in the winter compliments of movable wall panels. Nothing went to waste.
In fact it was twin shaft. One shaft was dedicated to slabbing and resaw. This is where I got my start in '57.
I forgot to mention the slap of the leather power belts. The sounds of the mill were unique.
Edited 8/5/2003 4:52:40 PM ET by IMERC
> .....My grandfather had such a mill in Vermont.
Wow .... I get all sentimental like when I read or hear about these things. Some day soon we hope to take an extended trip through the New England states and down a little further on the east coast.
With respect to the subject at hand ....
I can't think of anything that would be reason to think I've been in the shop too long .... there isn't enough time in one day (and night combined) as it is. I've always acted this odd, anyway.
...........
Dennis in Bellevue WA
[email protected]
I've always acted this odd, anyway.
...........
AH sir... what odd is that? Nothing out of the norm that I can see....
Dennis,
A couple of years ago Norm stoped by one of those old shops with the single source of power here in Boston area. I think they made custom exterior shutters and they are still going strong. Another place Norm stoped by made picture frames and a third the guy there hand made all his multi-pane windows with special planes he had made. But as nice as all that is, I personally enjoy going way up in Maine (around Bangor) and taking a back road until I see a big old barn. In many of those barns there are craftsman building out the interiors of boats....unbelievable craftsmanship...cant put a hair in those joints...or should I say 'what joint'
I hear ya, BG, with respect to those boat builders. We have quite a tradition here in the Northwest for this craft as well. Now that fiberglas has all but taken over the leisure watercraft industry, many of these fine craftspeople have found work in, believe it or not, custom precast concrete plants as mold builders. One outfit I've worked with on occasion says those folks are amazing at what they can do with wood.
Topic specific .... I don't think it's possible to be in the shop too long - there's too much to do. I find myself walking to the other end of the shop to get something, spot something else partway along that reminds me I have to ... pick that thing up turn around and, Oh! - there's those pipe clamps lying out in the floor that need a rack but first need to rip down some lumber (for the rack) so ... changing the blade on the table saw for ripping I remember I need to check the fence for parallel after the big move, find the dial indicator which reminds me I never did check the drill press for runout but need to finish drilling the holes for that ....
Well, you get the idea.
One thing I forgot to include in my shop was a small separate room with a bunk for quick cat-naps in order to .... uhh ... I forget.
...........
Dennis in Bellevue WA
[email protected]
you need a 12" jointer, but can't bring yourself to spend the $2000 on one, so instead to save money, you buy two $500 6" jointers and weld them together!
If it was good enough for Lamborghini then it's good enough for you. When they needed a 12 cylinder engine they bolted two sixes together and used two 6 cyl engine management systems rather than developing a 12 cyl. from scratch. It pushed the Countach to a dash plaque certified 206 mph.
John O'Connell - JKO Handcrafted Woodworking
Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid - John Wayne
Getting back on topic. You know your in the shop too long when you buy a toilet seat to fit the drywell drain outside your basement shop entrance.
That's for you SparrowHawk. Cheer up. The body is amazing, lost the top two digits of my ring finger when I was 17. Had it reattached, a little micro to attach a nerve, almost as good as new and unless I showed you you could never tell. Rehab may take a little while but you will come back better than ever. Any questions give me a shout.
Edited 8/6/2003 1:13:03 PM ET by CIRCLEKID
Or you leave the shop, before you set foot in the house and you have to knock so that the DW doesn't lay you out. Keeps the dog from attacking. Because you don't want to be mistaken for a stranger barging in to your house.
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