Funny Woodworking Misconceptions and Misnomers
roy.unit8c
| Posted in General Discussion on
I thought it would be entertaining to hear some of the funniest things forum readers have seen or heard such as:
I first thought the term “loose tenon” meant one that rattled in the mortise.
I thought it was impossible for a piece of wood to be wider than it was long.
Replies
What comes to mind for me:
My partner and I had been commissioned to build a 3/4 size reproduction of an antique English pulpit. It was sitting in the shop waiting to be delivered when a couple friends and their wives came in to visit. One of the wives took one look and exclaimed, "You didn't build that!" With mock humility I answered, "Well, it was a kit."
“[Deleted]”
Let's see if I can get a picture to come up:
That's funny. I can't imagine how long the instructions would be for such a "kit."
"Veneer is low quality furniture."
It can be, sure. Or the highest quality. Or middle . . .
That's funny. It takes skill sets and tools to do different kinds of veneering whether using hide glue with a veneering hammer or urea glue with a vacuum bag.
In terms of terminology, the whole joiner/jointer/planer thing is a mess. I wish the linguists would take another run at that.
Yes, the "planer" is confusing, and maybe "thicknesser" would be a better term. Joiner and jointer are close in spelling and easily mixed up. If you think of any funny typos there's probably a lot of funny ones to add.
We still don't know if it makes a sound.
Macabre or dark humor, and along those lines I wonder if anyone milled the oak tree?
Well, probably the most common one on this and other woodworking forums is the misuse of the word "vice."
That's common but still funny every time I see it.
Much like the jointer/planer dichotomy, it can be a UK vs US thing. So is rabbet/rebate. So if an Englishman has a rebate on his vice, it doesn't mean he claims his gambling spending back from the taxman.
Yeah, that's a good one. I'll bet our international members can think of many more. It's like cramp versus clamp.
I like carcase. It's a variation of the more correct carcass.
Good one Mikaol. I get some funny looks from my sisters when I try explaining some woodworking projects.
I have some friends that for the longest time referred to their bandsaw as a “bansaw” until their son corrected their spelling. It will forever be referred to as a bansaw now. :)
If you get a cramp in your vice call your doctor, there are little blue pills now.
Silliest thing I heard was a fellow woodworker trying to tell me sharp chisels were to difficult to control so I should quit sharpening mine. He was convinced I would have fewer errant chisel marks on my work. Whaaaat?
And don't forget the many Craigslist ads for:
Radio arm saw (radial arm saw)
Saw zaw (sawzall)
Trailer wench (trailer winch)
Mike
I once saw someone selling "chestive draws"
Or “chester” drawers!
I would like to meet a trailer wench.
"Trailers for sale or rent ... " -Jerry Reed, "King Of The Road".
Well, this all is hilarious.
Using screw and shank in polite mixed company..
Always like to throw in cock beading too!
What's the open time on a trailer wench?
Not enough if rub clamping.
Here in Tennessee it's a living room suit or a bedroom suit (which might be like a birthday suit...)
Moldings, or mouldings?
How about a mortice and tendon joint?
Or I ran the boards through the planner?
Kids say the darndest things. My daughter was certain that pocket hole joinery is fastened with “watch your head screws”, and when my wife was little she was fascinated by her daddy’s radio alarm saw.
"Kids say the [darnedest] things." Art Linkletter had a TV show by that name in the '50's.
When searching for something on craiglist or eBay, it sometimes pays to intentionally type in some of these misnomers, as you will find items that people who only use the proper terminology won't see. I worked with someone who bought a "radio arm saw" on craiglist at a good price since others looking for a radial arm saw wouldn't see the posting.
Bought a ton of strobe gear that way over the years; typical typo for "Speedotron" was "Speedatron". One shot, one kill.
Not only is it important to learn proper woodworking terms but common misnomers?
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