I had to share this one. My father in law just called me to help him with a DIY project at his house. Something to do with covering his awning on the back porch. He’s not very versed in tools.
Anyways, I said to him, “Do I need to bring any tools?”
His response, “No, I have Duct tape.”
That’s right. “No, I have Duct tape.”
Replies
What else could you possible need? Great one! ROFL!!
forestgirl -- you can take the girl out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the girl ;-)
Another proud member of the "I Rocked With ToolDoc Club" .... :>)
Oh that's hilarious!!! I love it!!!
Good Luck!
-Paul
uhhhh, what the heck is so funny?
I know of people who are alive today thanks to Duct Tape. In a hotel fire smoke was pouring through the vent and around the door. Duct tape was used to seal both.
When the fire was finally brought under control two people in the adjacent room were found dead of smoke inhalation
John Cabot
Lewis Black jumped all over Bush and the Homeland Security Dept for saying Duct Tape should be used for sealing windows and doors in the event of nuclear attack. As much as he wants to think this is BS advice and act like he knows everything, it would work as a means for keeping people alive as long as the fallout couldn't get in some other way. The keys to nuclear radiation are radioactive mass/strength of radiation, exposure duration and proximity.
"I cut this piece four times and it's still too short."
Bach in the very early 60's our Commander told us we will die here if they attack.. We had the Artillery but no rounds.. Waiting for shipment to Germany.. Geeeee thank God all had cool heads,, Especially when it comes to MY ####..
Well, Bill, you realize that duct tape is for things that move but shouldnt and WD40 is for things that dont move but should........what else could you need? aloha, mike
"duct tape is for things that move but shouldnt and WD40 is for things that dont move but should"
Well said. Interestingly, WD40 is a good way to remove the residue from duct tape.
HOW MANY DUCKS MUST DIE FOR OUR TAPING NEEDS???????
"I cut this piece four times and it's still too short."
The big or small rolls?
It doesn't matter, but mark my words! Some day, we'll run out!!!!!Supposedly, a duck's quack doesn't echo.
"I cut this piece four times and it's still too short."
"HOW MANY DUCKS MUST DIE FOR OUR TAPING NEEDS???????" Actually, HF, no ducks are harmed in the manufacture of this product. The tape was designed for marking the tubes that hang down in your basement and the silver color is what warns you to "duck".P.S. Molasses are like mothballs - their usefullness doesn't justify the suffering caused by their harvest.
Edited 12/10/2005 9:38 pm ET by saulgood
<<P.S. Molasses are like mothballs - their usefullness doesn't justify the suffering caused by their harvest.>> I love it!!!
After enjoying a delicious bowl of soup at NYC's 2nd Avenue Deli, the Texan calls the waiter over to his table.
"Darn fine soup son, can ya tell me what y'all do with the rest of the matzo"?
T
Two cannibals have been fighting over their latest victim. Finally, they agree to start eating at either end and work towards the middle. This works out fine, for a while;Cannibal One: Man, it doesn't get any better than this. Cannibal Two: I'll say, I'm having a ball!Cannibal One: Hey, slow DOWN!
!
actually duck tape (originally named duck) and then later changed to duct was used in the armed forced to keep ammo dry in the small green boxes that held the ammo.
Actually all of you are laboring under the incorrect assumption that it is "Duct Tape"....
The correct name for this is "WEST VIRGINIA CHROME"!!!< g>
My brother worked for a few years as a HVAC technician. He referred to it as "instaduct" on more than one occasion. True duct tape is silver metal tape, I believe, because duct tape doesn't do as well in heat. I've been wrong before...
Kell
I believe, because duct tape doesn't do as well in heat.Ever try to get some off that has been out in the sun fer' awhile???
After it's been in the sun for a while the glue becomes other worldly, I agree. When you first put it on, however, the heat in a duct (assuming it's winter) melts the glue and it doesn't hold.
Kell
Was your father in law the same one I saw on that beer commercial where the guy fixes the refrig by using duct tape ane then rewards himself for work well done by having a cold one. In my racing days duct tape was colled 200mph tape
Bill,
Just remember, it's a pi$$ poor craftsman, who leaves wrinkles in his duct tape.
Cheers,
Ray Pine
Duct Tape Story:In Feb. 2004 I was riding the train from San Diego to Orange Co., California. The train ran over some debris on the tracks and came to a stop. The engineer announced on the P.A. system that a fuel tank and a brake line had been punctured. So we sat there while they tried to deal with it.About 15 minutes later, the engineer came back on the P.A. and said, "I know this is a funny question, but does anyone on the train have a roll of duct tape?" Yes, they were going to fix a train with duct tape.When the conductor came down the aisle, I said, "You know, a roll of duct tape would fit perfectly in that round hat of yours!"
- Bill Bryan
Edited 12/4/2005 4:16 pm ET by Bill Bryan
Hey, we have people at our Saturday market that sell wallets and purses made out of Duct Tape - never know it came in so many colors!
Sounds like a reasonable statement to me!
Call him back and tell him you need that 'new' Gorilla brand Duct tape though....
You mean there are other tools than Duct tapes!!!??
He must be a proud "high life" man!
That's funny.
Jeff
Go and have a look at the job - make the appropriate noises about it - must surely be a great opportunity to suggest to the "Board of Home Economics" that the new tool you were looking at would help out beautifully!
regards,
Bob
the three most indespensible "tools".......
Duct tape
WD40
Channel Locks
you can fix almost anything with these
Wicked Decent Woodworks
(oldest woodworking shop in NH)
Rochester NH
" If the women dont find you handsome, they should at least find you handy........yessa!"
Eight years ago my wife and I drove down off Hart Mountain in eastern oregon and camped by flagstaff lake. A sudden and powerful thunderstorm followed us down and lifted the wenonah kevlar canoe several time dashing it into the lava. I tackled it as it hit the lake and we weighed it down with rocks and hid in the camper till the storm was gone.
The next morning we emptied the boat and covered the holes with about 10 feet of duct tape. Then, we paddled 3 miles across the lake into the labyrinth and 3 miles back. We paddled the boat for the next year and one half with the same duct tape! We used the boat maybe thirty times before I got around to fixing it.
I raise my glass to duct tape!
PS: I now keep some non-functional duct tape on the bow and stern of the boat so sleaze balls won't see the word "Kevlar" and will think it's a POS and not worth taking.
And what about the worlds supply of MOLASSES?
Chuck
Not in jeopardy. There aren't as many uses for them.
"I cut this piece four times and it's still too short."
Dang Ya writ like Stephen King.. It was scarrie!
Hey Bill,
Treat your FIL to some fencing wire for christmas.....Might open up some new horizons on the home improvement front ;-)
Roy
What's your point?
The local Army/Navy surplus store has gotten used to us wierd horse owners/veterinarians coming in and begging for milspec duct tape.... Regular duct tape wears off of a horse's hoof in less than 24 hours walking around. Mil spec duct tape will hold the bandage to the horse's hoof for 24 hours until the next bandage change.
This forum post is now archived. Commenting has been disabled