Idea for Woodworking Theme Park
– Possible Locations: Branson, Missouri; Norm, Oklahoma; Taunton, N.J.
– Divided into sub-parks: Neanderthal World, Jig World, Tool World, Collectors World, Finishing World, Sharpening World, etc.
– Hotels: each suite with complete workshop, just like Norm’s. Each with a project to complete in a half hour. All tools are completely set up. Just push the wood through.
– Similar to Branson, Missouri: All the big names have their own pavilion, and give five shows a day.
– Hourly tool and jig reviews, demonstrations, and comparisons.
– Hourly musical reviews such as “Wooden it be Nice?” and “I Wood have danced all night”.
– Fox-TV style debates with Neanderthals and machine-huggers taking extreme views for the entertainment of the audience.
– Jugglers juggle over a dozen sharpened Lie Nielson planes.
– Hourly demonstrations of cutting dovetails and M&T joints.
– T-shirts with woodworking sayings by Boss Crunk and forestgirl.
– Beanies with ears shaped like WWII sawblades.
– Workshops on how to tune up your machines to less than .000000001″.
– Lessons on identifying every Stanley plane ever made.
– EPCOT-like Workshop of the future: No dust, and completely safe. You never touch the wood. All tools controlled by computer.
– autographs by the well-known woodworking authors.
– Theme park rides: roller coaster goes through and around a giant model of a Leigh M&T Jig.
– Animated movies: see the world through the eyes of your tools. You’ll never mistreat another tool.
– Special all night sessions with entire Knots forums being acted out by the original contributors.
Anyone have ideas on how to make the proposed theme park even better?
Replies
96,
T-shirts with woodworking sayings by Boss Crunk and forestgirl.
Woodn't you have to put BossCrunk's sayings on 'adults only' sizes. As for ForestGirl, you could just put her picture on the shirt and sell a million. (shameless plug/flattery)
Regard it as just as desirable to build a chicken house as to build a cathedral.
Frank Lloyd Wright
T-shirts with woodworking sayings by a TREE!
Will,
T-shirts with woodworking sayings by a TREE!
You mean like;
"Axe me no more questions"
"How can I leave you again?"
"Please help me I'm falling"
"Limber up"
"A lighter shade of pale"Regard it as just as desirable to build a chicken house as to build a cathedral. Frank Lloyd Wright
YES! Perfect response!"Limber up"I thought Lumber UP!
Edited 6/26/2006 1:25 pm by WillGeorge
You haven't got any SCARY RIDES!!!!
-Mistake Mountain...Get in the tool box and shoot past the horrors of cutting mistakes made in the shop. The backward dovetail, short cut board, twisting maple, sand through veneer, a fly on the varnished top, and more!
-Giant Pentz...Experience the planer chip. Get sucked into a giant dust collector from hood to filter. Fun for those in line because they get to watch the big guys spin until dropping out of the Clear Vue Cyclone.
-Emergency...Front row seats at the park's Medical facility. Watch the Doctors suturing wounds, pulling brad gun nails from hands, reattaching fingers, and removing dust from their patients eyes. Real patients that are brought in from other parts of the Park that work without their safety guards on.
And the scariest ride of all...My spouse wants to use my TOOLS!!!!!!!
You haven't got any SCARY RIDES!!!! I just did that! I had a KickBack.. Hit me in the chest! The Hickory stick dented on the corner that hit my rib.. Sure glad I darn milk all my life and has strong rib cage! Dand iut took me 5 minutes to breath again!
In addition to T-shirts the park could sell "WillGeorge Kevlar Aprons" too!Glad your not more seriously hurt George. Bet it hurts when you laugh.;-)
Yessir, Kickback Mountain. I rode it last year at this time. Ended up in Suture Park with seven stitches in my pointer finger and my thumb nail is just now getting back to normal. Pretty scary ride!
How bout Curious George rides the Shaper spindle ( no pun intended Will )
or
trim your fingernails on the edge sander then get a first class manicure with an airless by none other than FG .
funny stuff guy's
dusty
Edited 6/26/2006 7:12 pm ET by notDusty
"The World of Sharpology" interactive museum where one can try every honing guide, sharpening gizmo and sharpening medium known to man, and then view the results with an electron microscope, including sharpening a chisel made from the steel of a 1000-year old sacred Samurai sword owned by a Japanese ninja warrior prince, on a composite, 40,000 grit waterstone made from Apollo Moon Shot mission-era moondust.
Nightlife: Along "Sawdust Alley" there is adult-only nighlife after sunset, including "Skiin' Doobie's 'A Pint or Eighteen' Pub," and a theatre/ show venue: the "Girls Gone Wild: Shop Gals Musical Review," including a cameo pole dancing performance by the Hitachi Girl.
<<Nightlife: Along "Sawdust Alley" there is adult-only nighlife after sunset,>>There's always got to be somebody that likes the "knotty stuff".Suppose there should be a fight club to watch the finishers give each other a good shellacking.
Very good! The most enjoyable posts yet.
Cadid
Lumber Jack Express
An IMAX movie starting with a topper falling 200ft. into the arms of a log skidder, Getting dumped into a raging mountian river, riding the logs and busting jams with dynamite for sure. A brief slowdown in the mill pond then racing up a chain conveyor headed straight to the debarker(lots of crushing noise) You know the outcome !! A slow feed into a Giant Circular saw, saw starting with just a faint whir and culminating with a roar and a big blast of wind as you hit the saw ( Screen goes red)Work Safe, Count to 10 when your done for the day !!
Bruce S.
Isn't Taunton in ####, not NJ?
Pondfish,
Taunton is physically situated right next to Brigadoon, so you can't get there very often. Brigadoon became more famous than Taunton because it has better singers.
Enjoy,
96
Seems like there needs to be some John Wayne simulator in there somewhere. The story goes, In a commercial shop that once was around here, there was a fellow who happened to be walking down-wind of a Wookie on a table-saw who let a spear fly that hit JW in the belly and was sticking out of his back-side a few feet. They said that he took a few steps, then started pulling it back out the way it entered, tossed it aside, took a few more steps, then fell. Of those who witnessed it, I don't think there was anyone who thought they would have made it past those first two steps, thus the JW nickname.
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