Know you’ve been in shop too long when..
You know when you’ve been in the shop too long when…
… when your child want a grilled cheese sandwich cut into triangles, and you reflexively reach for your sliding T-bevel and marking knife.
… you take your spouse to an evening at the theater, and you’re asked to stop applauding due to the cloud of sawdust rising from your hands.
… when your spouse begins a sit-down dinner with the family with formal introductions of your parents and children.
… you have no doubts that you’ll be able to make it home with the new Bridgewood 12″ jointer you just purchased strapped to the roof of your Honda Accord.
… you start to believe that Norm Abrams was sent here by alien beings to destroy us all.
… when giving a tour of your home to friends, you make a point to name the wood species, joinery, and finish of each piece of wooden furniture that you own.
… you go to your doctor with concerns of a sudden hearing loss, only to find out that you’ve never removed your ear plugs.
… your spouse won’t divulge the destination of your surprise vacation, but says that it will involve a plane trip – and you immediately start to think of what to say when you meet Thomas Lie-Nielsen.
… you hang your head in a moment of silence as a city worker loads another resaw potential tree limb into the chipper.
… you send a barrage of argumentative e-mail replies to the same Knots thread, only to later realize that you were the original poster!
Dan Kornfeld, Owner/President – Odyssey Wood Design, Inc.
Replies
Terrific thread, Dan!
...you hone the backs of your kitchen knifes to a dead-flat mirror surface and put a razor sharp bevel on one side only...
...when you blow your nose, you generate Kleenex-clad MDF...
...sliding the door of a minvan starts a daydream about tablesaw sliders...
...you find yourself bringing raw wood to your nose, inhaling the aroma longingly, when you're involved in activities totally unrelated to woodworking...
-- You are driving on a straight flat piece of interstate, and your mind thinks your getting a terrific rip cut in a 12/4 x 22' plank of pattern mahogany.
--You see an interesting period piece in the window of a shop, and when you look up your family is 3 blocks down the street.
--You think you are cleaned up when you are finished performing a self-vac with the Fein.
Edited 3/28/2003 7:32:45 AM ET by s4s
--When you walk into the house, you are surrounded by a cloud of sawdust and chips like Pigpen in the Peanuts comic strip.
--When your dog come into the shop and steals the next piece of wood you were going to cut, just to get attention!
--When you wife trips the breaker for the shop sub-panel!
Fun Thread, so true to life!
---You come in the house after a long day in the shop and strip down to your boxers in front of the washing machine.
---At dinner break your family tells you "Oh, you smell".
---Ya, I can go to the shop at 5:00am, I have lights out there, the neighbors won't mind.
---Your wife comes into the shop as your running the table saw or planer and says "Honey, do you know its 1:00am".
---Your neighbors have running orders to call your wife anytime you get stupid after hours.
---You pee in a can (unless its night), joke about marking your territory all in the need to save time.
---You return a week rental DVD to Blockbuster unwatched.
---On a week night you look at the shop clock and say "Oh crap".
---Your wife buys something new. You look at it and think "I can take this apart, throw that away and build a..."
---You keep alcohol wipes and bandaids in the shop, "I don't need to wash my hands".
---Your project idea list will out live you.
---You build things and your really not sure where in the house its going to fit.
---The term "I need one of those" never stops.
---Your sneakers even offend you.
---Your bummed when that old dorm frig finally died.
---You try to Christmas shop at Home Depot.
---I'll change the oil in the truck, next weekend.
---You use work vacations days one day at a time to get the 3 day weekends.
---Its Friday, maybe I'll work a half day.
---Boss, cough cough I think I got too much dust this weekend I can't make it in, I gotta rest, and your in the shop after a nap.
---Your too busy for anybody elses' project ideas.
---You try and squeeze in a little WW on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
---You have WW projects at work just for conversation starters.
---Your projects are on your desktop and screensavers, at home and work.
---You take the cordless phone to the shop and don't answer it.
---You go through the boxes your wife packed for charity and take all the cotton items.
---Your shop has: Kleenex, paper towels, trash box, recycle bin, several cans of soda, stereo, Jim Beam, several empty plastic cups and coffee cups you forgot to take in, every coffee can and peanut butter jar from the house for years,...
---Honey, "The garage is NOT FOR STORAGE"!, "That ain't going to My Shop"!
---You say the house stereo needs new speakers just so you can have the old ones for the shop.
---Your old shop stereo punts and you go out and buy a brand new receiver and take it to the shop.
---Oh man, nice sunny day, Home Depot is going to be packed with gardeners, I ain't going, I'll change plans, put that project aside, like shooting yourself in the foot.
---"Do I have to go to the birthday party?"
---You have more than one WW project in every room of the house.
---The yard doesn't need mowed!
---I'm really beat, one more hour.
---Your shop is the main reason you want to win Lotto.
---Every waking minute your thinking and planning.
---You've learned to love sports on the radio.
---Oh, wow! I Do have a husband!
Enjoy, Roy
Ahhhhhh, yes to all the above. Just two to add:
forestgirl -- you can take the girl out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the girl ;-)
I bet the machine that does that sprial cut is Really Cool!
Keep in mind I'm divorced now, so these are not for the faint-hearted:
- You agree to cut out Santa's sleigh and eight reindeer as per your wife's request, plus a three-quarter sized Rudolph, in order to "piggy-back" some oak and cherry onto the load of plywood that you're going to have to purchase.
- Your wife requests that you construct a lever-operated "can-crusher" for crushing aluminum cans prior to disposal in the recycling bin - the project involves two protoypes, full-scale CAD drawings and several hundred dollars of new tool and hardware purchases.
- You come home with a new sewing machine for your wife, and a Compound Miter Saw for yourself.
- You buy a new watch for your wife and a Lie-Neilsen bench plane for yourself. Somehow the box for the plane gets a price tag reading "$50" stuck on it.
And -
- Your girlfriend drags you to a museum because you're due for a "girlie date" that doesn't involve professional sports, alcohol or movies with a body-count. She's looking at the sculptures, you're looking at the joinery of the display cases. You want to talk to someone in the museum who knows how much they paid for those display cases but of course, no one knows.
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