Please turn off my Cafe access. Thank you.
Mike
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Replies
I would beg you to reconsider. People who feel strongly are needed. I will mourn your loss, whatever your viewpoint, contribute and suffer the slings and arrows.
Be strong, stand up for your views! If we do not communicate we are lost.
------------------------------------
It would indeed be a tragedy if the history of the human race proved to be nothing more than the story of an ape playing with a box of matches on a petrol dump. ~David Ormsby Gore
Thanks for your comments, but the Cafe is not for me. There are plenty of places to get my political fix -- Knots is not one of them. I have enjoyed many of your thoughtful, articulate political posts (though we are on opposite sides of the fence on many things). But much of the "discussion" by others lately has been little more than name-calling, and that's not what I visit Knots for. That's all -- no big deal.Mike
Edited 7/18/2007 6:53 am ET by Mike_B
Why would you want to turn off your access?
Is that like a recovering alcoholic saying please don't let me in the pub anymore because I'm trying to cut back?
Or something else?
Curious....
I agree with you labelle,but perhaps people of that ilk are better gone.
You're all set Mike.
Matt Berger
Fine Woodworking
Allright now I'm curious. Where is this cafe, and how do I access it?
Your access is all set. The Cafe will show up as a new folder in the left-hand list, and might take up to 20 min. to appear.
Matt BergerFine Woodworking
Matt, could you let me in too? I'm curious what's all about..
Thanks
ALL SET
Hi Mat,
Would you please turn off my cafe access.
Thank you,
Paul
All Set.
OK, my curiosity is peaked...I'd like to know what the "cafe" is about and if I can get it as well..
Thanks,
John
All of the above are set.I have to say, this is the most interesting Cafe thread I've seen in a while since there is an equal number of people opting out as opting in.- matt
Thank you for the look around the cafe.
It's not for me. I want to keep my impressions of the fine people I meet here focused on their craftmanship and wood sense.
I'll get my dose of politics at another time and place.
With all due respect,
please opt me out.
---labolle
Edited 7/19/2007 1:00 pm by labolle
Peaked and piqued? Now that you've peeked at the Cafe, what do you think of it?
Edited 7/20/2007 4:51 pm ET by kenshep
mv
I'll give you a clue. The cafe is, in a nutshell, "who's the better mudslinger." A few thought provoking non-woodworking topics filled with a whole $hit load of name calling. Basically a place where whitty word-smith's can spew their venom, of which I am not one.
Jeff
Yes I've noticed it is mostly a bunch of anti-Bush mudslinging in there. Whenever those types of posts come up on the regular board, I read a couple of lines then I get bored and skip to the next post. I guess the cafe is good because they can vent in there rather than waste everyone's time out here.
"Yes I've noticed it is mostly a bunch of anti-Bush mudslinging in there." Five years ago, it was predominantly liberal-bashing, warmongering pseudopatriotism, so the pendulum swings.forestgirl -- you can take the girl out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the girl ;-)
ah just wait until Jan 2009... I'm sure it will change again...
Ahh - The Mosh Pit! - I'd actually forgotten about that after they shut everybody off and made everyone individually re-request it. I can take it or leave it, but mostly I think I'll just leave it. I spend too much time online and not woodworking as it is and FWIR there's not much there that adds to the WW knowledge-base.If you build it he will come.
Matt. Get me out of there please Thank you Boysie.getI'm never always right but i'm always never wrong. Boysie
By far the biggest problem that I have with the Cafe is that many folks don't actually fit very well into the knee-jerk category that those on "the other side" try to force them into with labels. In that respect it is a microcosm of what's wrong with our culture.
It's too easy to glibly ignore the message by shooting at the messenger. Far too many Americans have done that for far too long, IMHO.
Kevin:
Let me tell you, it is ike that in spades in DC. People's careers and personae get so tied up in causes and groups that it just feels wrong to them to listen to other points of view. Kind of like tolerating heresy. At Washington cocktail parties, you often see people apparently "debating," when in fact each side is just preparing and waiting for the chance to slip the stndard line to the other.
Hell, lets talk dovetails and tools here and forget all that!
Joe
So Joe, are you talking about Democrat or Republican dovetails?
I have worked in DC since 1979. I have managed to have all sorts of discussions on sharpening, joining, finishing, sanding, Neanderthal vs. Norm type woodworking, whether a strop should have the smooth leather up or down, etc etc etc, and I have successfully left the yakking about politics to those who don't have important things, such as woodwork, to do.
It is possible to think about things in their proper perspective. All one has to do is to prioritize things well.
I have found that woodworking-wonks are more fun and more useful than policy-wonks. The woodworking-wonks have it easier though, because they get to test their theories by making things. All the policy wonks get to make is noise.
We need to put woodworkers in charge of the world. We could do a much better job than the policy wonks, and we would do it more efficiently so that we could get back to the shop quicker. It is good to have goals.Have fun.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Right, tails is tails.
Right again, the policy wonks don't have the automatic discipline and feedback of having to actually make something work.
You know, I really love Washington. Went to HS and part of college there. My oldest friends live there, and I get there a couple of times a year (three times so far this year). Worked on the Hill, as a house staffer, and off Hill in a think tank. Lots of campaign experience. But still..
So, how 'bout them dovetails?
Cheers!
Joe
The problem with forums like the cafe that I've seen (I don't have access to the cafe, nor do I want it, but I've visited other sites) is most folks don't have a clue what they're yakkin about anyway.
If ya'll want some interesting reading when you're bored sometime, punch things like 'Rothschilds and banking' 'who owns the federal reserve' Illuminate' skull and bones society' for starters, you'll find other things to check out once ya get started. I'm not saying I actually believe everything that you'll read, but when ya start talking about money and power...it kinda makes ya want to rub your chin and go hmmmm...
Chris...that's all I'm gonna say about that...
Joe,
Glad to get to know you a little better. My wife and I live in Burke, VA, just beyond Springfield. Next time you are coming to DC to visit friends and family, see if you have an extra few hours to visit my home. We can burn some burgers and see who can tell the biggest woodworking lies. It is always nice to meet another woodworker, especially one who understands how Washington works.The problems with both Democrats and Republicans are all between the sheets. With the Democrats,its between the bed sheets. With the Republicans, its between the spreadsheets. Yuk yuk.Have fun.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
My last residence in DC before I went back to graduate school in Texas was in a townhouse in Burke. I worked in Georgetown that year. To get in I either used the bus and tbe then bran new subway, and walked across the bridge from Rossalyn and down the canal towpath to my office (which overlooked the canal), OR I drove by a route I figured out on a wall sized map that included a shortcut through the Pentagon parking lot that would put you out at the head of the line for the bridge.
I may get up again in the next coupleof weeks. Would love to meet.
Cheers!
Joe
Joe,
OK. Send me an email before you come and we will make woodworking history. Maybe we'll come up with a completely new design paradigm for chairs. Anything is possible if it takes less than two hours.
Looking forward to it.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
WIll certaily let you know if this assignment actually materializes.
BTW, in the spirit of full disclosure: I am confident that your skills are superior to mine.
Joe
Me too, Matt.
I'm here for woodworking, not the other stuff.
Mike D
Right. I asked them to be sure I never had Cafe access. My experience in the break time tavern showed me that shifting away from the one thing we all have in common is a mistake. People I respected became unreasonable and abusive. It spoiled my experience.I have had deep involvement in politics and religion in my life and still do. However, I come to Knots to talk about craft.Joe
Although I'm not ready to sever my access to the Cafe, I must say that you've articulated my own views pretty well. The flip side of the coin for me is that a few of the Cafe participants have really impressed me with both their intellect and their ability to use logic and that has caused me to take closer note to their expressed opinions on aspects of the craft. So I guess I'd have to conclude that it's a mixed bag when it's all said and done.
That said... I was deeply involved in politics before I found Knots and remain so away from here. Which is why I rarily post comments in the Cafe. It's not what I come here for.
Please, Please turn on my CAFE access,
Thank you
Could you please set up my access to Cafe
THank you,
All of the above requests are set up.
Matt BergerFine Woodworking
Matt, what the heck, set up my Cafe and I'll decide if I want to keep it active, now I am curious what all the chat is about. Thanks, Rick
mike I would also like to join I requested this and noticed my post disappeared (what does this mean?) how long wiil it take and whear will I find this string?
<<mike I would also like to join I requested this and noticed my post disappeared>>I believe your request was made in a separate post. Matt or one of the systems guys will probably see it and set you up with access today. If not, you may want to request access again -- address your post to MBerger.Mike
Hi Chaim. I just saw your request and set you up with access.
Matt BergerFine Woodworking
Matt,
I respectively request removing my Cafe Access also. I have no desire to come here and hear about politics. Many people giving there answers to all the problems in the world by using the biggest words they can find. This is where I come to learn from many quality woodworkers, not hear about he corupt politics of the world.
Jeff
Would you turn on cafe access for me. Thanks
Perhaps The Ego Cafe?
Regards,
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
Is that like "Stop me before I kill again"? Why not just ignore it. BIG ;o)
Edited 7/20/2007 12:46 pm ET by Gretchen
<<Is that like "Stop me before I kill again"? Why not just ignore it.>>I guess it's like having a car you never plan to drive -- why leave it in the driveway?Mike -- stop me before I swill again.
I used to come to this site years and years ago. The Cafe was set up as kind of a virtual bar. A place where we could put up our feet, splash down a cold one and talk about the day in the shop.
If we had a political discussion it was seldom and even then it was always civil. We were woodworkers, we brought wood dust in, not mud.
Now? I don't know. I can get just as political as the next guy or gal. But it's been a long time since I've seen a political discussion anywhere on the internet. It's always "my way or you're an idiot" almost right outa the box.
I'll sometimes open a discussion if it's a few replies long. But I know that when it's twenty, thirty replies long the flame throwers are out and I'm gonna get burned if I go in. So I stay outa those. No one knows how to debate anymore.
ChuckN and I have nothing of value to add to this discussion.
"No one knows how to debate anymore."You're wrong.
BP
I agree with you that there are many people who are very adept at debating. I used to do a lot more of it. I still enjoy a bit of it now and then, but I keep getting frustrated by it, which is why I don't do it much. Debating never seems to change anyone's mind. It seems, more often, to end with both parties taking an even more extreme position. The focus in debates is on "Words". I can understand that playing with words is interesting and fun. It is great to see someone turn a great phrase in a way that I never would have thought of. The Romans and the Greeks loved this sort of stuff. Now they do it on Fox television.Such debate, however, seems to me, to be done only for the sake of debate, and not for the sake of finding a common ground, or for uncovering the "truth". So debating is the thing that policy wonks do. At knots it is done in the cafe, and sometimes in the regular folders. I have decided to opt out of such things, as I would rather spend my time in the workshop. Once in a while I come out and see an interesting message and respond to it, but I never come back for more -- that is, I stay out of the debate. It never ends up making any thing as nice as I can make with my hands. I do enjoy trading humor. There is a lot of that on Knots.
Have fun.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
"I do enjoy trading humor. There is a lot of that on Knots."Me too, I am apparently poor at it though. My two word answer to a point about debating was not clearly humorous! I'll keep my day job!
My students are working on a (computer) lab problem, and they all looked up to see why I was laughing--which was your two word response. Nicely done.
"People seem so rude nowadays."
"No they aren't. Now shuddup."
Mel,
I am often confused by American termnology; and also your thought processes in general. Of course, you are foreigners to me so, being British, I assume you are all mad.
But you must clear a thing or two up for me:
Policy wonk; presumably these are the wonkers I have been hearing about who live "on the hill" (with the fool?). Someone should tell them that they will go blind.
Debate: is that what goes on the end of deline when you want to catch something fishy? In Britain, one's bate is the sandwich and chocolate biscuit kept in a nice tin for around 12 o'clock, when all the sawing and planing have got up one's appetite.
Words. I have tried to send you messages via feelings in the aether but they don't seem to get through. Also, I have made gestures of one sort and another but you cannot see me over the earth's curvature. I would post pictures but the Taunton picture attachment thang will no longer work for me; and anyway, you might be shocked (culture clash). So......it's words, then.
(NB I note you have been using them words too, you sly rascal! You thought we wouldn't notice)?
I cannot believe they do Greek philosophy on Fox television. Surely one needs a vocabulary of more then 41 words to do that? But I have heard that the Foxers eschew words in favour of alarming pictures of dark foreigners abusing innocent Americans, in one way and also another. After all, why bother with words or meaning when there are exciting bogeythangs to portray?
Truth: I have heard of this strange concept but surely it died when Herr Nietchze issued his pearls in all them unreadable rants that he published around 18summick? Anyway, I gave up the concept in 1968 after my doors of perception were opened and there was ????????? behind them.
Now, Dr Johnson would clout me with a plank and suggest that I might find the T-stuff in the resulting nubbin of swell and pain. But David Hume would put him aright there! "Aye, its jest a wee perception, laddie"! (Of course, they are both deed so I am speculating).
Anyway, I don't fancy that cafe. Has anyone been shot there yet?
Lataxe, too confused to score points off wonks and not fit for cafe society (bad trousers).
Lataxe,
Are you really British?
All this time, I thought you were a well-read expatriate American from New Jersey with a penchant for well-turned phrases. So let me pay you a compliment. One of the joys of Knots is often being coerced to think more deeply about things. Of all of the denizens of Knots, no-one provokes penetrating discussion and insight more than you. Keep up the great work. MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Old top,
Weren't there a few of them scarey bogeythangs over on your side of the pond the other week, dressed up in Dr's togs, and driving round in autos filled with petrol canisters? Or was that just more of the diabolical work of the fool on the hill? Blast him.
Ray, who a while ago, was" hungry enuf to eat a bate". Allus wondered from whence came that old appalachian phrase.
Ray,
Apparently there have been Doctor Bogeythangs here and there. It turns out that The Fool on the Hill conjured them with various devilish implements and spells known as "the armed forces" and "foreign policy".
Personally I am more concerned about the bogeymen who drive madly in cars hither and thither; or celebrate vigorously of a Friday night with beer and boots, to the detriment of the wider citizenship. There are many of these loose in the night (and also the day).
The men in blue seem unconcerned about the deaths, maimings and psychological damage from these bogeys, as they have grown used to that form of carnage. Also, the car and beer taxes come in useful for when The Fool needs to pay for the implements and spells.
I keep to the shed and other safe environs. The bogeys are everywhere you know!
Lataxe, a beatnik.
Lataxe,
"Beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy." B. Franklin
Ray
Ray,
Aha! if the beer had only the effect of making folk happy, as it does you and me! Then we would spend our evenings (and also the odd lunch time) making merry and going off to bed content albeit wary of the morning-time and its headache.
However, I have a theory that the gods gave us beer and cars so that our true characters, whatever they are, will be revealed as the social curtains drop with our inhibitions.
There are fighting and downright murderous drunks. Also, many car drivers cease any pretense of courtesy and consideration towards others when they grip the wheel and press the accelerator pedal. No, their eyes go red and they mow down the cat, granny, children, cyclist, pedestrian or other impediments with a will! Mr Toad emergent.
Now, we also have Internet forums and such. Here too, the gods have seasoned the atmosphere with uninhibiting gas, so true personalities come out to romp and play; or to do virtual damage and murder upon others, as their devils drive them.
All psychiatrists and them psycho-analysts you Americans have should take note: beer, cars and chatrooms - great diagnostic tools indeed.
Lataxe, jolly drunk, careful driver and ever-so-nice in forums.
Lataxe,
You never cease to amaze, with your insight.While your apparent dismissal of the dangers of Muslim extremism gives me pause, the analysis of the "freeing " effects of booze, wheels, and the net seem to agree with my own experience.
Ray, a sometimes maudlin, but never mean, drunk
Ray:"dangers of Muslim extremism"I for one share your concerns here. Unfortunately a ballistic missile submarine or Nimitz-class aircraft carrier are not particularly helpful assets when it comes to this scourge.One might ask if the muslim extremists' cause has been helped or hurt by the present military excursions in the Middle-East?This may be a problem that we survive rather than solve. How much better would things be in Iraq, if we had flooded the area with soldiers and, given platoon commanders money and authority to hire every able-bodied Iraqi they could find? Even if it was painting rocks, it would have made it much harder for the extremists to exploit the poverty and unemployment. They were able to drive a wedge between the military and civilian population early on in the game.Hastings
Edited 7/27/2007 9:48 am ET by Hastings
Ray,
There are many extremists about, of all religious "faiths". Also many others who are otherwise idelogical. Some become particularly rabid and need to be put down in an uncompromising fashion. Off with their heads!
Who are these dogs? Aha, they are here and there in various guises. Until recently Britain had rather a lot of Irish ones. They have calmed down of late but not before wreaking all kinds of evil havoc. Now we have some that tend to be associated with a different church. Away with them too, I say!
Of course, all of them have partners in their dance of death - those fools on the hill and their various henchmen. Fools enjoy the dance greatly, especially when someone else pays the price. Oft times, the Fools organise the dance (ask an Irishman or an Iraqii where they learned to polka).
But I actually know no one who was killed or hurt directly by a rabid dog of these ilks. I don't even know anyone who knows anyone who was affected by a bite from such a dog. In the greater scheme of things, they are few and far between, happily. The security forces generaly catch or stop them. Hurrah!
So, their nasty acts affect few in reality; but affect many more via the psychological damage inflicted by The Daily Frightener, The Hate Mail and Polecat news, who enjoy a vicarious revel in the misfortune of those who have actually had a visitation from a dog.
On the other hand, I have had many a friend and neighbour, over the years, who has now been despatched by drunken and speeding motorists. There are a couple who have been murdered by drunken yobs. Many more have been severely harmed in a permanent way by these aggresive motoring types and them evil drunks.
Being an old security man, I understand risk assessment. I therefore understand what is a likely-to-manifest risk and what a less-likely one.
I also understand what are propaganda and jingoism. I can recognise the sound of an axe being ground, any time.
Lataxe the apolitical.
Even a Lataxe? Or is that coffee I hear grinding there?BTW, not to get too cafe-esque, but a few of us even here on this very site know people who were killed or hurt in the Trade Towers. I do.J
Edited 7/27/2007 1:13 pm ET by Joe Sullivan
Joe,
I am sorry to hear that you have been blighted a bit by the rabid ones. One does wish for their apprehension and demise. I suppose, like Hastings, I fear the Fool is just breeding more dogs, not catching the ones already inflicting the bites here and there.
As to the coffee - bought it, ground it, brewed it, smelt it but then drank it. :-)
Lataxe, already ground sharp and shiney some time ago.
Lataxe ol' chap,
You should be a writer. In fact, there are a few posts on here that could be combined as a commentary of the common man's view of the world.
I felt from the onset that rabid dogs should be handled much like their fashion of disruption. We have self guided darts that should do the work, such as done by 'slick Willie' when he was in office. Or the actions taken by the movie-star when he was in office; it seems he woke the Libyan bloke up to a new way of thinkin'.
I oft times wonder if we are but pawns in a worldwide chess game being played by the ones who control the world's money. The end game being a one world government based on money and not humanitarian ideals. The EU on your side of the pond is step 1, the NAU on our side will be step 2, followed by an African Union and then Asian Union.
I thought I knew more than I actually do, but I'm more confused than I ever thought I was.
Chris, afflicted with the need to do random acts of kindness.
Laraxe,dear boy,
It seems we are not so far apart ideologically. Aye, I'm an advocate of moderation in all things, but being only moderately moderate, can be persuaded of the necessity of shooting a rabid animal when confronted by one.
It is an unfortunate fact that the current state of affairs in the middle east is but a continuation of a way of life that's been ongoing for millenia, with only the occasional name change in one or the other of the participants. Alas, I see no end to it. It seems to me foolish to ask either a rabid dog, or an extremist intent on killing all infidels, "Can't we all just get along?" Especially when neither will have anything to do with a nice gin and tonic, lime twisted.
Cheers,
Ray
Toad emergent? Toad ascendant! Glorious Toad! Poot poot poot, he said, with a dreamy look in his eye...J
I have a question and I hope you can help me understand you point of view. I guess it is not a question as much as saying I do not understand how someone appears to be against any military action when you have been the beneficiary of it so many times. With out military intervention I believe you would be in very different circumstances than what you are in now and would be specking German as a second in not first language. Many people have disagreed with whoever happens to be America's President at the time, but IMHO, American forces have pulled so many other peoples countries out of trouble and in most cases have spent incredible amounts of time and money to rebuild those same countries as well as the countries the defeated. When everything was finished, the US fought the fight, and gave everything back. (As they should).
And here, for your perusal, is an example of why people do not want cafe access. In my opinion, I am right, you are wrong, and I don't understand why you don't agree with me.
Let's just say, there is a wide spectrum of people who read and understand history, cause and effect, and every single one will have a different perspective.
Bg,
You misunderstand:
I am very much in favour of armed forces and also war, when needful. When is needful? When there is a clear and present danger. WWII, in which both my parents were heavily involved, is a good example. My father was a much-decorated airman who also spent a lot of time running the "railroad" that got those shot down over France back to Blighty. (He was shot down and railroaded out 3 times hisself).
Mr Forrester, my neighbour, spent 4 years in the English channel on MTBs, surviving that hell when literally hundreds of his shipmates were horribly killed before his hurting eyes, defending our shores.
I am indeed exceedingly grateful to them and many others, that I do not live in a fascist or totalitarian state. To go to war is the ultimate altruistic act (for the soldier, not the politician who sends him/her off to doom).
Just so we're clear, I also approve of MAD as it saved us from WWIII.
However, it would be foolish to suspend our judgement as citizens, of those who wield power, supposedly on our behalf. If you think all the various excursions by The West into foreign lands during the second half of the 20th century are all fully justified in terms of that "clear and present danger" then I will suspect that you have neglected to have a clearer look at events.
Modern politicians have discovered "The Power of Nightmares". (See the Adam Curtis programmes so-titled for an illuminating history lesson here). Since the West and its Political Parties lacked a real enemy after the end of the cold war, they have had to invent and conjure new ones. This will help justify their existence, give them a vehicle to pursue their personal interests (including power for its own sake) and distract the citizenry from privations at home.
Who better than the known rabid dogs that were once our allies but, as those wonkers know, will therefore make excellent enemies? Step forward The Tallymen!(Or whatever they are called).
As to the military helping to rebuild countries - well, this happens generally only after they have first destroyed them (and not always then). Marshall plan - great. Puppet "governments" with our forces as policemen in South America or The Middle East? Hmmmmmm.
Perhaps you would like to consider the possibility that there are a million shades of grey between black & white.
Good Lawd! Have I been cafe'd!!?
Lataxe, who would prefer to be a knight rather than a pawn, if self-sacrifice is required (but let's hope it ain't).
bp,
No, you're wrong.
Heh, heh.
Ray
AM NOT!
he he he
Edited 7/24/2007 6:52 pm ET by bp21901
There is only one good reply to that:
M: (Knock)A: Come in.M: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?A: I told you once.M: No you haven't.A: Yes I have.M: When?A: Just now.M: No you didn't.A: Yes I did.M: You didn'tA: I did!M: You didn't!A: I'm telling you I did!M: You did not!!A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?M: Oh, just the five minutes.A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.M: You most certainly did not.A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.M: No you did not.A: Yes I did.M: No you didn't.A: Yes I did.M: No you didn't.A: Yes I did.M: No you didn't.A: Yes I did.M: You didn't.A: Did.M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.A: Yes it is.M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.A: No it isn't.M: It is!A: It is not.M: Look, you just contradicted me.A: I did not.M: Oh you did!!A: No, no, no.M: You did just then.A: Nonsense!M: Oh, this is futile!A: No it isn't.M: I came here for a good argument.A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.M: An argument isn't just contradiction.A: It can be.M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.A: No it isn't.M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position. M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'A: Yes it is!M: No it isn't!
A: Yes it is!M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.(short pause)A: No it isn't.M: It is.A: Not at all.M: Now look.A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.M: What?A: That's it. Good morning.M: I was just getting interested.A: Sorry, the five minutes is up.M: That was never five minutes!A: I'm afraid it was.M: It wasn't.PauseA: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.M: What?!A: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.M: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!A: (Hums)M: Look, this is ridiculous.A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!M: Oh, all right.(pays money)A: Thank you.short pauseM: Well?A: Well what?M: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.A: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.M: I just paid!A: No you didn't.M: I DID!A: No you didn't.M: Look, I don't want to argue about that.A: Well, you didn't pay.M: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!A: No you haven't.M: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.A: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.M: Oh I've had enough of this.A: No you haven't.M: Oh Shut up.
Harry,
You, Ray and BP are riotously funny.
I haven't seen anything as funny as you three since Minnie Pearl.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Sorry, couldn't read your whole message, the price tag on my hat fell in front of my eyes.......
lol.... "the price tag on the hat"...
It's been a long time.
Hee haw....
thanks.
lol
:)
HowDEEEEE!
Minnie used to tell the story about her cousin, who was stopped by an old farmer as he was walking down the road: "Hi, ya, sonny, whatcha doin' draggin' that there log chain?" "Listen, mister, you ever tried pushin' one of these things?
Ray
Ray,
Golly gee. That was really funny. Were you a regular on Hee Haw? The next time we get together I'll show you how to frail a five-string like Grandpaw. I hear there is real money in custom banjos. I keep hearin' that the best soundin' banjos had a "pre-war sound". What war do you think they were talkin' about? Iraq? Vietnam? Korea? (Naw, not that one. It wasn't a war. It was a "police action".) Maybe it was the Mexican-American? I remember hearin' about a guy named Pancho Villa. I think he was also on an early TV program called the Cisco Kid. (Hey Pancho! Hey Cisco!) I know that Cisco makes routers for computer networks nowadays. I wonder if it was the Cisco Kid who invented them things. I'll bet you liked Fibber McGee and Molly too. Now they were really funny. The world sure got more interesting after the radio was invented. Keep up with that humor stuff. You're pretty dang good at it. A lot of your original stuff is so new that I haven't heard it before. Where do you get it?
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Mel,
My early exposure to radio humorists was definitely on the country side. Homer and Jethro, Minnie Pearl, Tennesee Ernie Ford. Remember "Brother Dave" Gardner? Fibber and Molly were a bit before my time, but the local NPR station used to have Lum and Abner (" By doggies, Lum, I b'lieve that's our ring!" "Grannies, Abner, I b'lieve you're right.") as the lead in to their bluegrass programming.
Friends tell me when I think I'm being a wit, I'm usually only half right.
Ray
Ray,
I understand and appreciate Southern humor.
I was brought up in the South -- in Southern Connecticut, that is.
Y'all hurry back, y'hea'.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Mel,
A Connecticutt Yankee, huh? I thought they only existed in Mark Twain's imagination.
A long time ago, I was informed that there is a difference between a "dam' Yankee" and a "carpetbagger" (pronounced cahpetbaggah). As it was explained to me, a dam' Yankeee is like a hemmorhoid--it comes down, and goes back up; whereas, a carpetbagger comes down and stays down.
Present company excepted, of course.
Ray
Ray, while I, as a young man, heard about the famous closet of Fibber McGee and Molly, I was also told that it wouldn't hold a candle to my Dad's closet under the main stairs when he grew up.
He was one of 14 (that lived) in Argentia NewFoundland, an old Irish (obviously) family that had a hall closet under the main stair in a three level salt box house. I was told that ya came in and your Wellies and foul weather gear were tossed into "THE PELT" under the stairs along with the other seasonal clothes not currently required. It would some times reach a point that when one of the girls (4) would open the door to pelt(verb) some article in there, she would be buried -untill rescued by stronger hands- by the avalance of gear . That was when Grandma Ellen would give the men what for (in very strong terms-the ONLY acceptable answer was YES MOM!!) AND THE pelt was cleared out- to a point- for the seasion.
Do ya think that Fibber or Molly were ever to NewFoundland? Paddy
Paddy,
Speaking of grandma Ellen...
About 60 years ago Betty came from Ireland to Flushing, our house, and over the subsequent 6-8 years her 5 sisters migrated. In 82' we had a family reunion in the Catskills with 65 first cousins plus parents. This weekend will be the second family reunion. All the cousins have married and have kids of their own...
If only my mother were alive..she'd be blessing them all with her wedding ring (it's a special power, we were taught) and getting all the kids to take the Pioneer pledge (no booze).
Paddy me lad,
You taught me a new noun: the pelt. Up til now, I thought a pelt was the hide of a furbearing animal. It's good to know that the stuff in the clost under MY hall stairs has a name! Now, if only I had a grandma Ellen to tell me what to do with it.
When's your next trip south? Guess you're still a dam Yankee, you keep goin' back up! Got a new (old) plane to show ya.
Ray
edit: PS Matt, shouldn't this thread be , ahhh, moved er, into the, ahh cafe?
Edited 7/26/2007 8:42 am ET by joinerswork
<<shouldn't this thread be , ahhh, moved er, into the, ahh cafe?>>So, I start a thread to opt out of the Cafe, and then it gets moved to the Cafe where I can't follow it? Wow, life just ain't fair.Good old Brother Dave -- pi r squared? Hell no. Pie are round, corn bread are square.Mike
Mike, I have a CD of brother Dave's best. Remember "I might be slow, but I'm ahead of you"? Oh, that tore him up! I mean, he twisted that handlebar plumb off! RoaRR that motorcycle went up the side of that mountain. Blam! Teeth , hair and eyeballs, all over th' pavement. Wheels spinnin' DIVV-adivv-adivva.
"Babe, I know what's in every book, in every library, in the whole world."
"What's that, Chuck baby?"
He says, "Words."
"You wise, Chuck man, you too wise."
Ray,I heard a lot of Brother Dave on my father-in-law's hi-fi. He was a big fan and often quoted him the way later generations did Cheech and Chong and Monty Python. I'll have to ask my mother-in-law if she still has any of those old albums. It would be fun to hear some of the classics again. Mike
Mike,
My big brother and I used to quote him too, I still would, but who'd know?
A company called I believe Collector's Classics has the Dave Gardner stuff on CD, as well as a ton of other little and well known artists from days gone by.
"You gonna be here, when John gets in?"
"Man, if you ain't John, I'm gone!"
Ray
Hmmm....
Move this thread into the Cafe where it belongs? A few good old freinds jawing away...
Hmm.. It seems that all those opting out of the cafe wish to do so because of all the political rants/debates. How about moving all political discussions of any ilk to a room called "The Soap Box."
Then those that do enjoy a good chat with friends now and then, as this thread has become, can do so without the political grandstanding that seeems to turn off some so strongly.
My two cents.
labolle,I have no problem with political discussion, and the Cafe is the place for it here on Knots. And there is plenty of room there for other types of discussion as well. My problem is that some of the political threads there disintegrate to simple name-calling, and that's just not for me. For others, it's not a problem and that's fine -- plenty of room for everything there. When I started this post, I was just opting out of the Cafe, and I'm surprised that the thread has gone on as long as it has. Mike
Hammer,
You're missing the name calling and coded explitives. Oooooops, thought I was in the Rant 'afe!
Regards,Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
H.H. , we are devoted to you for your 1- accuracy of transcription and the labor required to do so, 2- bringing such classic humor to such a pedestrian cause, and 3-It is the humor that you bring that really shines up the bozos, die hards, politically deprived, who don't understand that none of their rants or positions means squat in the real world. Paddy
BTW. Berger I totally enjoy the Cafe humor and then the fools trashing themselves against one another. When they get really stupid- like beliveing the press- I just tune to another thread. thanks, Paddy
Edited 7/25/2007 10:41 pm ET by PADDYDAHAT
Harry,
Whilst reading through this oft times hilarious post, I couldn't but help notice that you are rather well versed on the classics; Monty Python, that is. Quite well done old chap.
Always look on the bright side of life...
Chris.
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