Replies

1. 
   KiddervilleAcres | Oct 29, 2007 04:38pm | #1

   Hi Neil,

   It's born from an illegitimat union!  :-)

   Actually, the cut of a bastard file is between a coarse and second-cut file, hence the name.

   Regards,

   Bob @ Kidderville Acres

    

   A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!

1. 
   noviceneil | Oct 29, 2007 09:19pm | #2

   So, if I understand you correctly Bob, if you're inbetween coarse and second you're a bastard? Maybe that's why there's a shortstop between second and third, but no bastard between first and second. I'll have to think about this cause I'm not sure I get why they were so mad at the file in the middle..

   Neil,  puzzled in Peru 

1. 
   KiddervilleAcres | Oct 29, 2007 10:43pm | #3

   Neil,

   To be honest with you I always thought it was coined by the first one to make a cabriole leg.  He said to his apprentice, "Gimme that bast*(d and I'll fix that those legs!"

   Regards,Bob @ Kidderville Acres

    

   A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!

2. 
   Lataxe | Oct 29, 2007 11:13pm | #4

   Neil,

   Bastard means: of uncertain origin. 

   Persons born out of wedlock were originally called bastard because their father was unknown, not because they were "illegitimate", whatever that means (probably: agin' some religious dogma of the 19th century; or the 21st century, in some of those backwaters where many other weird memes are festering and rotting brains now in a consequently intolerant frame of mind). 

   As with many words, a single instance of the meaning has gained an ascendancy in current parlance.  Also, it became a term of abuse, although modern research tells us that a high percentage of persons born IN wedlock actually have a father "of uncertain origin".  Ah ha - we all stand a chance of being one, then!  Those naughty mothers, bless them all, the rascals!

   No matter.  It is no longer considered a faux-pas to be such a bastard, except in the aforementioned backwaters, which all persons of any sense escape from as soon as the vicar isn't looking and the parents are busy having one or another variety of hysterics down the mumbo-jumbo house. 

   Naturally, one cannot help one's uncertain origins; nor even the many compulsions of human nature that seem so inimical to the residents of Backwater, especially them as practices Mumbo-Jumbo on Sundays and other days too.  After all, it is this variable and extensive nature of ours that gives rise to the condition of uncertain origin, amongst other states we find ourselves in from time to time.

   But I digress.

   I like my bastard file and won't hear a word agin' it.  If we both are of uncertain origin then we have a fellow-feeling.  Also, it is a useful tool, like me; and similarly abrasive when pushed back and forth, especially by judgemental vicars or other 19th century moral-men.

   Lataxe, of uncertain origin but a definite end (the mouldering sod).  Coo, two "swear" words in one post.

    

1. 
   Joe Sullivan | Oct 30, 2007 05:48am | #5

   Dear fellow, as one who does indeed practice Mumbo Jumbo as you call it, on Sundays and other days too, I must point out that illegitimacy is a concept of the law of inheritance, and not of religion at all.Clever rant, though.CheersJ

1. 
   Lataxe | Oct 30, 2007 11:29am | #6

   Joe,

   Yes, those laws of inheretance are tricky, which is why one should not even contemplate dispatching with the tiresome old aunt at dead of night, despite her fortune and the fact she names you illegitimate or worse.

   I should mention that I am a grateful recipient of the Judeo-Christian tradition and many of its mores; but not the fairy stories - not those concerning fairyland or the goblin halls neither.  Also, one feels that Absolutes and Ideals are, on balance, damaging memes apt to cause unfortunate and hysterical behaviour, in one way or another.  The bonfires are lit and a dungeon is prepared by red-eyed folk intent on mischief (or "rooting out heresy" as they calls it).

   Lataxe, a drifter in the mindspace.

1. 
   Joe Sullivan | Oct 30, 2007 04:13pm | #7

   Hmmm, well, coming back on point, it has long been the case that objects that have been changed from some original accepted form of are in some way half of this and half of that have been referred to as "bastardized." I suspect that as the "bastard" file is a blend of toothing, its name reflects just that. Nowadays, in the era of political correctness and thought police, it would probably be called a "blended" file or some such thing.J

1. 
   Jimurock | Oct 31, 2007 03:17am | #9

   First recorded use was 1677:

   "the Bastard-tooth'd file is to take out of your work, the deep cuts ... the Rough-file made; the Fine-tooth'd file is to take out the cuts ... the Bastard-file made." 

   You can bet it was around a long time before it made it into print.  Most tradesmen learned on the job, not from reading books.

   Jim

2. 
   joinerswork | Nov 02, 2007 04:11pm | #14

   Lataxe, of no uncertain opinions,

   Oh, dear.  Did someone touch a nerve?

   I once had a fellow splitting billets (to be used for chair slats) out of a length of log, describe the two ways the growth rings could be oriented on the ends of the billets.  What would be quartersawn, if a saw rather than a froe were used, he called "board fashion" what would be flatsawn, he called "bastard fashion".  This seems to agree with one of the several definitions in my Webster's Collegiate, "of an unusual, abnormal, or nonstandard form".

   We've all heard the story about the wife sent to the hardware store by her husband .  "Pick me up a couple files, while you're in town."  Once in the store, the clerk shows her a large tray of assorted files, and pointing to a stack asks, "Do you want these bastards?"  "No," she says, "I think I'll take these two sumbitches over here."

   Ray

1. 
   WillGeorge | Nov 02, 2007 05:12pm | #15

   "No," she says, "I think I'll take these two sumbitches over here."Ray Best I heard in years!

3. 
   Jfrostjr | Oct 30, 2007 04:39pm | #8

   Reminds me of the story of the woman who went to buy her husband a present of a file he said he wanted.

   The clerk asked, "Do you want a long flat bastard?"

   She replied, "No, I think I'll take that short, thick, S.O.B.!"

   Frosty

   "I sometimes think we consider the good fortune of the early bird and overlook the bad fortune of the early worm." FDR - 1922

4. 
   BoardmanWI | Oct 31, 2007 03:32am | #10

   I always thought a bastard file was the one that broke on a jobsite, and you had no other one with you.

1. 
   KiddervilleAcres | Oct 31, 2007 04:44pm | #11

   Are we suggesting the name was dreived from much cursing!? :-)

   Regards,Bob @ Kidderville Acres

    

   A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!

5. 
   WillGeorge | Oct 31, 2007 08:48pm | #12

   I think a bastard file was named by the person that made the first one and lost a fingernail usin' it!

6. 
   WillGeorge | Nov 02, 2007 02:32pm | #13

   the group of files referred to as bastard files?...

   I'd bet the boss came up to some worker and and asked why 'that' file was on the floor.. He reasoned 'That Bastard fell off my bench!'