I’ve really enjoyed the threads on “losing my mind” and “School of hard knocks” and it got me thinking about “Rules” of (for) the wood shop.
I’ve found a few, please add to the list…
The probability of needing a table-based tool (Table saw, router, jointer etc.) is directly proportional to the amount of stuff piled on said table. (For those of us with small shops).
You never have enough clamps. (an oldy but goody)
The paint/stain can lid will always land sticky side down, in a pile of sawdust.
Junk shirts repel stains. New shirts attract them.
There is no such thing as a “quick trip into the shop.”
You won’t find the right tool until after you’ve used the wrong tool.
Planes are set on their side, unless the cutter is extended.
Tape measures do not stay where you put them.
Enjoy,
Mark
Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk, cut it with an ax.
Edited 6/27/2005 8:40 am ET by Mark
Replies
Thou shalt not covet my tools.
Honor my tantrums.
Remember- I don't work Sundays.
Thou shalt not bear false criticism of my work.
Here's some of mine.
When people who are not woodworkers use the word "scrap" they have no idea what they're talking about. (My ex-wife wanted me to build something out of scrap. It required 3 full sheets of plywood.)
Cheap, quick or quality - pick any two.
Looking at an unfinished product does not give you the right to critique it's finish. After all, it isn't.
There are no board stretchers.
Every new project brings with it the opportunity to purchase a new tool.
You can tell me how to do something or you can tell me how you want it to be when it's completed. You may not do both.
Kell
Kell
I loved your post! I'm still laughing!! Everytime my mom comes over to my house, she wants me to build her a "quick cabinet" out of my "scrap walnut"! She thinks that it only takes me 20 minutes to build a curio cabinet for her massive sewing collection!! And because I've got an entire shed of wood, the pieces in the shop "leaning against the wall" MUST BE scrap!
Jeff
Along with your "scrap" item,
I have to agree with this one:
"Every new project brings with it the opportunity to purchase a new tool."My dad was telling me about the screens he built for my brother's porch. My first question was, "What new tool did you get?" He started laughing, then he said,"How did you know, I got a brad nailer."So true, so true...MarkFYI for my sofa table project it was the TS Tune-up kit (machined pulleys and link-belt :-)
Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk, cut it with an ax.
I don't know how well they apply to the shop, but I live by four critical rules:
Worked for me so far....
The older I get, the better I was....
Nick doesn't dig. (after 6yrs as a paratrooper, I earned this one)..
Or go Camping??
Old Army here... Folks invit me camping and I get all upset at them.. They have learned NOT to ask...
Will, I love ya. You're the only person who's eer understood that.
I keep getting hounded to go camping with friends. My wife goes on and on about it...I've decided at some point I will bite the bullet for my girls' sake. ..
As for me though, give me my A/C, cold beer, and a real bed.
You don't need to practice being uncomfortable, Mother Nature will take care of that for you.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. The older I get, the better I was....
My wife goes on and on about it...
I'd take her.. Just as she falls asleep I'd yell 'BUGS" and let her fall into your arms!
A while back I called my BIL to find out if he still had his Bobcat. He wanted to know what I needed done. "I am putting in new kitchen cabinets." 'Please explain," he says.
"Well, the new cabinets wouldn't look right without a new floor, but there is a problem with the floor under the door to the deck because the deck wasn't built correctly and it directs snowmelt into the end grain of the sub-floor and it's rotting. So I need to fix the deck, which was poorly made, so the best thing to do is replace it. But, as you know, it is over a walkout basement, and they installed the paving bricks at the basement exits (and under the deck) too high. They cover the trim at the ground level and that's going to rot too. So I need to change the grade of my back yard about 30 feet out from the basement, lower the paving bricks, replace the deck, with a proper ledger board, and fix the sub-floor, so I can install a new floor to go along with the new cabinets."
"Sounds logical to me," he says. "When do you want to start?"
Greg
So the rule...Inside every small project is a large project trying to get out?Mark
Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk, cut it with an ax.
-->Eyeglasses have legs (tape measures are more like snakes).
-->The extension cord is always 6" too short
-->There's no such thing as "one trip to Ace Hardware." I always end up going twice!
forestgirl -- you can take the girl out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the girl ;-)
Another proud member of the "I Rocked With ToolDoc Club" .... :>)
->There's no such thing as "one trip to Ace Hardware." I always end up going twice!FG,
Have you ever heard the expression "Three trips to the HW store for every project?"If you ever hear that from a clerk, go to a different hardware store for the third trip. :-)Mark
Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk, cut it with an ax.
Many people know that I have a decent collection of woodworking and metalworking tools of all descriptions. I have a full metal working shop in my moms basement and a full woodworking shop in my basement (The printing shop got sold last fall.) No kidding!
The most important rule I was taught and never ever break...
I do not lend tools (or anything else for that matter).
If you have a project that is so important to you that you would come to me to beg for a tool then I have the good graces to recognize the time to be a good friend and neighbor and take my tools with me so I can do the job for/with you.
Stories:
I didn't have a lawn mower. My mom had a new Honda $700+ lawn mower that I got for her that starts on 1 pull. She ordered me to take it home and do my somewhat unfinished yard with it. I hit a 1" stub of something I chain sawed clearing the brush. $275 for the new crankshaft got her lawn mower back and I still have nothing to show for the $275. I brought it back in like new condition and because I am her son there were no hard feeling.
How many of my 'friends' would have said, "something is wrong with your lawn mower" and just left it in the garade? Don't want to find out.
When I was a kid, dad borrowed (my Uncle absolutely insisted) an uncle's aluminum boat and 7 hp Elgin outboard motor. He took the family and the boat camping an hour away to Lake Winnipausauki, in New Hampshire.
The second day on the lake doing top speed of like 5 miles an hour the prop stops.
Being a machinist and having the same rule for borrowing, he will fix whatever is wrong. He tears the engine down to find that the drive shaft had a crystalline defect and sheared at that spot. It was real obvious, to him and me, that misuse was not a factor.
I went home with dad and the shaft. We swung by a steel supply house and he got some stock. We spend most of the day in the basement while he machines the threads and gear splines and all the other shapes to duplicate the broken item. Then he tested the hardness of the original and gets the new one to a similar state. [How does he know how to do all this???]
Back to the lake with a few more tools, cleaning solvent, matched Elgin spray paint from the Auto Supply store. It seemed like a long time in little boy hours but 'we' got it back together and looking like new. Took it for several test runs then hauled it back to the Uncles house with our gratitute and the story. [He would have never known the difference but how would we explain why the thing looked so nice?]
You know, many of you have similar stories but that has been rule number 1 for a reason. We don't have any enemies and we have never lost any friends.
"If I can't replace it or as a second choice if I can't fix it so it is like factory reconditioned, then I don't want the awsome responsibility that comes with borrowing."
Another rule:
Buy the best tool [not always the most expensive tool] that your money can buy. If you can't afford it now, wait.
Jerry
Aside from my earlier humorous post, I agree that one should always buy the best tool(s) one can afford. I was told this early on, and always try to stick by it, even in an age of increasingly inferior overseas tools that crowd the shelves.
The printing shop got sold last fall...
I was a Service Tech.. Printing presses and electronics before I went into Marketing..
It always amazed me how hard those printers worked.. Sun-up to after sun-down...
And some of them were still sane?....
Will
I had letterpress and offset for over 30 years as a hobby. The nicest little shop I have ever seen. Many years of setting hand set type. With all the lead, lead dust, and chemical (metal type cleaner and blanket cleaner) your comment about still being sane probably has more truth than most would know about.
Everything of course was antique (press 1916 and some type banks to mid 1800). Gone now. Bye Bye. Leaves a tiled 13 x 26 area with rough sawn barnboard walls and drop ceiling for wood storage on the floor and the Finish woodworking bench. Nice area to do the clean assembly and finish. Everything else in the garage...a little cluttered but that is where the 220V 100 amp breakout is located and it's walk in.
A little divert for a topic on shop rules so I guess I will tie something in. ALL this printing stuff was antique (expensive word for old). If you are looking for it, for the most part either unavailable or in poor shape. My shop was neat, clean, machines all is very clean and well kept condition, no junk laying around. Sold in no time. Hope it got a great home somewhere else because I loved the trade. Now more time for woodworking and ocassional metal working.
Jerry
I had letterpress and offset for over 30 years as a hobby. The nicest little shop I have ever seen. Many years of setting hand set type. With all the lead, lead dust, and chemical (metal type cleaner and blanket cleaner) your comment about still being sane probably has more truth than most would know about.
Do NOT bet on it!.. My step-day was a Linotype guy for the Harold American??? OLD Chicago newspaper.. He brought me and my brother ALL kinds of lead... We would melt it on the stove in the kitchen with our Mom's permission and make soldiers in plaster molds from it..
AND.. This red powder... Mercuric Oxide? I cant's spells it.. But we cook Mercury from it on the same stove...
A lot of the others ring true for me too; I won't duplicate them... but add a few of my own..
1/ it doesn't go back on the shelf till its ready to use... last thing you want to be doing is picking up a plane with a blunt blade, so when it's used, it gets re-honed, brushed down and put back before I'm done...
2/ time don't matter... I've enough deadlines at work, don't need none o that mess in the shop cos for me it's R&R... no watches, no clocks, no "what time do you want your (insert as appropriate) by?" Drives SWMBO up the wall... but that's part of the fun... just don't say I said so.. ;)
3/ When I'm tired I'll take a break there and then (took a heart attack to teach me that one)... when I'm struggling I'll walk away from it rather than try to batter on; better a part takes a little longer than having to start over cos ya mucked it up by hurrying...
4/ It'll be finished when its good and done, and not before... Life has a way of interrupting... roll with it... don't let it get to ya and fer gawds sake don't cut corners to try to make up time... accidents happen..!!
Mike Wallace
Stay safe....Have fun
Four legs on a table are NOT the same. On my first two tables I got all enthusiastic making parts and cut mortises on all four legs in the same places. Now have a note hanging over bench reminding me not to do it again. KDM
The Bill of Rights
December 15 1791
NRA Endowment Member
LEAA Life Member
CRPA Member
My favorite rule for the workshop....
DO NOT use remaining fingers as push sticks.
And... I have the following sign hanging in my workshop....
'Home of the Incredible, Just-in-time Workload Management System'
Have a safe 4th, and remember what it WAS meant to celebrate.
SawdustSteve
This forum post is now archived. Commenting has been disabled