Replies

1. 
   rob.kelly | Oct 20, 2000 07:47pm | #1

   *
   The top of the flame of the candles when lit should burn no higher than the horizontal arm of the cross. So you have to take the original size of the unused candles into consideration when making the candlesticks. I know about these things because I was an altar boy for three years before I was expelled from parochial school for molesting a priest.

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   Sgian_Dubh | Oct 21, 2000 01:21pm | #2

   *i "I was expelled from parochial school for molesting a priest."!!! Almost 6:30 on a Saturday morning with me Rob as I read your response. No coffee yet, and I'm not really with it, but you managed to start my weekend with a hoot! Priceless. :) Sliante.

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   gpwestmoreland | Oct 21, 2000 07:26pm | #3

   *Rob's reply reminded me of this story: A newly ordained young priest's first assignment was to work with an older, experienced priest to gain some on the job training. At the end of his first week he was to hold his first confession. The two priests entered the confessional and the older priest told the young one, "There's really nothing hard about hearing confessions. You just listen to the confession, then tell them the pennance. Ninety-nine percent of them are routine; the same boring stuff over and over. And if you ever get stuck and can't remember the pennance, there's a chalk board here on the wall just over the window. Just act like you're looking to heaven for guidance, and find the sin on the board, and next to it is written the pennance." The two priests shot the breeze for about thirty minutes. Then the older priest said, "Well, looks like this is going to be a slow day. We may not get any confessors here at all today. I'm going to go get some coffee. I'm sure you can handle anyone who comes in. Remember, just look at the chalkboard, and read off the pennance." He then walked off down the hall. No sooner had he left, than a young woman entered the confessional. "Forgive me father, I have sinned," she said. "I have committed anal sex." Not knowing what to say, the young priest was petrified. He then remembered the chalkboard. He looked up, and scanned the board, but couldn't find anal sex anywhere on it. "I have to tell this woman something," he thought. He heard footsteps coming down the hall. Thinking it was the other priest returning, he opened the door and looked out. It was an altar boy. "Hey kid, come here," he said. "What do they give for anal sex here?" The boy said, "Oh, usually a couple of cookies and a glass of milk."

1. 
   rob.kelly | Oct 23, 2000 12:09am | #4

   *gp, we used to tell a similar story abt a Queen's Counsel who was elevated to the bench and given a sentencing term as his first assignment. Like your young priest, there came a time when he needed guidance on punishment, so approaching the Chief Justice, he asked "M'lord, what does one give a man who allows himself to be sodomized?" The response was "Oh, thirty shillings, two pounds, whatever you have on you."

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   Jim_Gailer | Oct 23, 2000 09:19pm | #5

   *Thanks for the info Rob, probably best to cast a veil over the rest ;-)Jim