Fellow woodworkers,
I have long wondered:
Why do women find woodworkers so attractive and sexy?
All of the woodworkers that I know have had to fight women off since they were in grammar school. At our local Woodworker’s Guild meetings, we have to lock the doors, and find creative ways to get in without letting the screaming women in. After all, we need a little time to ourselves. The only two groups that this seems to happen to are rock stars and woodworkers.
I have started to make a list of possible reasons why women find woodworkers so sexy. Here are some of the first things that came to mind:
– We know what it means to be sharp.
– We know what “smooth” means.
– We are sensitive. We can feel differences as little as a thousandth with our fingers alone.
– We have the natural confidence that comes from knowing that we are doing work which is universally considered to be important.
– Women like a man with the kind of upper body strength that comes only from hand planning.
– Our survival is based on the ability to sense what someone wants before they even verbalize it, and on being able to deliver with no excuses.
– Woodworkers, especially those on Knots, are fully cognizant of philosophy, history, aesthetics, logic and world affairs. We are excellent conversationalists on any subject.
– Woodworkers, especially those on Knots, can sense when trouble is coming and are skillful in averting it before it starts.
– Woodworkers have strong hands, which can only come from hours and hours of keyboarding.
These are just some ideas. We have to work hard to figure out what makes us so attractive to women. Once we figure it out, there will be big money involved from TV interviews, DVDs, endorsements, self-help books, exercise and weight-loss programs based on the use of hand tools, after-shave lotions based on the scent of a woodworker, ….. The possibilities are endless.
So please respond with the reasons why women find woodworkers to be so irresistible. We will make a complete list. We have a responsibility to know how to cope with this. We need your help.
Thank you,
Mel
Measure your output in smiles per board foot.
Replies
As a single guy I have to ask, where do you live?
I want to move thier. :)
Doug
Back in my younger days I found it was very easy to get dates when I let them know I make custom furniture and cabinets!
The down side to that was, I found myself working for free too much of the time building stuff for my "new girlfriend" in trying to impress her. To make things even worse, I married one of these "new girlfriends" years ago, and now all I do is work for free on my days off from the F.D.
Does anyone know a way of billing your wife for the work you do ?
Santa Barbara,CA
Terry,
Does anyone know a way of billing your wife for the work you do ?
Man, you really need to rethink things. If you pursue that course you are surely in for trouble.
What I would suggest is that you turn it around the other way. Get my drift?
I'll bet the ladies in here are getting a hoot over this one.
My Friend Master Mel, we need to talk. In pursuit of that elusive 1,000 post discussion I think you're getting there. Oh my, wait tilll the Jolly Biscuiteer sees this one!
Oh, and if them women are giving you Washington guilders a difficult time, I and a bunch of friends would be more than glad to come down there when you folks have your meetings and offer diversionary tactics (not Tacts/tacks)! Just so's you folks can have a peaceful meeting and all.
Best Regards,
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
Edited 10/9/2007 7:46 pm ET by KiddervilleAcres
Does anyone know a way of billing your wife for the work you do ? I agree, but then again I had a wonderful wife. If I tried to bill her for my work she would have punched me in the nose!
Friends,
Thanks for joining in the fun. As you quickly realized, I was merely indulging in a bit of positive self-delusion. While my wife loves to make suggestions as to things I should make, their size, shape, color, etc, and she willingly points to where they ought to be placed, she rarely partakes in the delights of my workshop. I believe I heard some similar comments from others. No problems with this setup, though. We are a team that has been in place since 1969. My first woodworking project, in 1968 was a sewing stool with storage, and it was for her. She is a quilter, and I needed to find a hobby to have things to do when she was quilting. That hasn't changed. I keep joking that we need to find a cruise that is for quilting and woodworking. In my hours at Woodcraft, it is interesting to see the women who come into the shop. Unfortunately there are too few. We have some very good female woodworkers who frequent the place. We have the usual wifes who are tagging along while the husband looks for a needed tool, and we have a few women who are really supportive of their woodworking husbands. One came in the other day and said that she'd like to get her husband a Gift Card. I jokingly said "We usually suggest something in the amount of about $1500. My cohort laughed so hard, he almost snorted his coffee. The lady retorted, "Well, I was thinking more in the range of $200". WOW, I was betting she was going to say either $25 or $50. But she was knowledgeable about what he was interested in. It was an enjoyable experience. Bob is worried about how the Knots women took my original post. They are quite intelligent and congenial, and realize that my post was "tongue in cheek", and all in fun. Heck, I'd be willing to bet that if a guy was on a date, and he asked his date what her hobby is, and she said "woodworking", that his eyes would light right up. The only real good answer to that would be for him to say, "Wonderful, will you marry me. I can just see the wedding presents that we are going to get."Enjoy,
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Mel,
I need your help. I'm in BIG trouble!
Tonight I was here on Knots and the wife was relaxing in bed reading. I went in to kiss her goodnight and she was reading a book I got from the library about carving!
The book by Butz! I know I can't type those double dots over the u.
She told me that she wants to get involved with my furniture making. Adding some of that frou frou to my Queen Anne stuff; turning it into that Chippendale!
What's the best way to get her to carve rosettes? I called Dr. Phil but he's no help! I really need some rosettes for the Highboy!
HELP!
Regards,
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
Edited 10/9/2007 8:55 pm ET by KiddervilleAcres
Edited 10/9/2007 8:57 pm ET by KiddervilleAcres
Edited 10/9/2007 8:59 pm ET by KiddervilleAcres
Bob,
Glad you got the Butz book. It is a very good way to get used to the carving gouges. His projects are at just the right level, and he gives good instructions. They don't take long. If your wife wants you to do Chippendale, I know just the guy for you to apprentice with. You will have to spend some time in Western Virginia -- a very beautiful place. But you should wait about a year before you go. They are now installing water mains and sewers, and it will be much more comfortable there in about a year. The people are great. It is not far from West Virginia. But be careful if you wander into the woods and you hear someone whistling the theme from "Deliverance".MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
"But be careful if you wander into the woods and you hear someone whistling the theme from 'Deliverance'."
I live in southeastern Ohio (which is very rural--definitely part of Appalachia--and likewise not very far from West Virginia). After living here for five years, I've learned one very important safety tip: When you're out driving in the country, if you see a sign that says "NO OUTLET," do not, under any circumstances, go any further down the road. Turn around immediately and go a different way. There is some very scary looking stuff down in those dead-end canyons.
-Steve
"Does anyone know a way of billing your wife for the work you do ?"I bill my wife $55 per hour plus materials for work on our rental properties and she writes it off on our taxes. I know it sounds like taking money out of one pocket and putting it into the other, but my business is incorporated and my college-student daughter is 45% stockholder, so 45% of all profits over and above my puny salary goes to her as shareholder dividends. The funds get paid into an account in her name from which tuition payments are made (we would have to pay her tuition anyway so it effectively comes back to us in that way). So what is the advantage of this arrangement? As a full time student, my daughter has very little other income, so her 45% of profits is taxable at a much lower rate than mine. We saved about $2300 last year in our state and federal income taxes.
BruceT
I tried it, she billed me for the laundry.
Dusty,
If you can't figure this one out on your own you don't have much of an imagination. Wow, now my mind is rolling. Looks like the old lady is going to get some new furniture!
Aaron
It's the primordial urge. Quite simply put, "We've got wood".
It couldn't just be that alluring butt cleavage you're always flashing them could it?
If you build it he will come.
Mel,
Traditional woodworkers can do it all by hand.
I did have a lady customer tell me one time that as I am a woodworker, she felt I had a kinship of sorts, with Joseph, the carpenter. Didn't really make me think she believed I was a hottie...
First shop I worked in, the radio played the popular (at that time, early 70's) tune, "If I Was a Carpenter, and You Were a Lady" pretty regularly. All of us in the shop would sing along. Pitiful, really.
Ray
The smell of fresh sawdust is an aphrodisiac.
Jack
Mel,
I though it was because so many of us are called "Woody".
Easy!
We are great with our hands and usually take our time doing things.
It's all in the top coating. French Polish is a nice finish ! But a hand rubbed oil finish is even better !
Work Safe, Count to 10 when your done for the day !!
Bruce S.
Edited 10/9/2007 7:06 pm ET by BruceS
I think its a win-win for them. They get an 'artistic' guy without all the fluff. Chances are Sunday afternoon I'll be in the shop building something for her (rather than watching sports), and she gets the tv for some chick movie...
It's like the old joke, a bunch of guys are discussing whether it's better to have a wife or a girlfriend. The woodworker says, "Both, as long as they know about each other."When questioned by his buddies, he says, he can disappear and they both think he's with the other one. It's a good way to get some quality shop time.
Perhaps our ability to tongue in groove?
Samson,
You said
"Perhaps our ability to tongue in groove?"If there was an award, you'd get it. Notice that a tongue operates both BD and BU at the same time.
Mel
Measure your output in smiles per board foot.
Hilarious, Samson! I actually laughed out loud here at work so I now have people asking me what's so funny! That took some solid ball bearings to say but nicely done...
A good woodworker always knows the right tool for every job! Duh!
We are the only group with so much wood we need a rack to store it on!
One thing I have noticed about the woodworkers whose wifes really support them and get excited when the guy is buying more money on tools, they are all bloody rich.
Kelso,
Your conclusion is "right on".
I am amazed at how much money there is out there.
My wife refers to them as "yuppie woodworkers".
I sure wish I was one of them. :-)
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
MEL MEL MEL, Why did you have to start this post? I think I had told you that I was starting a computer course in which I was the only man.Well everything was going along just fine until you had to open your big "trap" about woodworkers being sexy.
I have just moved to a very rural area where the farm is the main source of employment,where the workers are at it from early morn till late at night.At night if they drop in for a pint there's a good fresh farm perfume in the old boozer.
I on the other hand being retired would "dickey" meself up before I went to my comp class. A splash of Brut here and a splash of Lynx there and bobs your uncle.Things were going great if there were a problem to work out they gathered around my computer for the Lady Instructor to show everybody how to switch on the darn machine.
UNTILL you brought up the se xy woodman theory, what did I do ? I went to the Shed and Routered a 12ft board before I went Ponced in and proceeded to scatter wood dust everywhere, it got into the computers ,into the printers into every nook and cranny in the bloody place. WELL I needent tell you I had to make a quick getaway out of there, sexy me #### When you have to run with one artifical hip,the other one in a bad state of repair, a dicky heart and them bloody mouse things that I thought were attached to a cabel smacking against the wall,it's back to the old Brut, and carbolic soap for me . Regds. you renagade Slan Leat BoysieI'm never always right but i'm always never wrong. Boysie
Boysie,
Wow, I never had a computer course in which I was the only guy, and the instructor was a lady. You must have snaked your way into that on purpose. You are going to have to be very careful. You could get hurt. Always make sure you have a clear path to a door in case they get too rambunctious!!!I hope you learn something about computers in this computer course.
Have fun.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
I never had a computer course in which I was the only guy..I did that but I was married and never cheated on my wife.. EVER. Damn! I sat in one corner really quiet for a month...
Ahhhh, Mel, I agree, ... all of them it seems, ... except my first wife!?
red
Perhaps it is because woodworkers know how to use their tools!
Women do not find me sexy (at least, they don't tell me about it), and I do woodwork.
However, my husband gets a gleam in his eye when I am sharpening a chisel. How about it -- do men find you sexier, too?
Hmm ... maybe woodworking makes everyone sexier.
Liz,
this thead hasn't had a post since 2007. Glad you found it.
We had a hoot with it back then. I am glad your husband finds you sexy.
My wife found me just sexy enough to produce three kids who are now grown. We are quite proud of them. Glad to find one more woman woodworker. Have you met forestgirl and Madison2 and the others here on Knots. I sure wish we had more women in this field. How the heck did you find this old thread? I got it started because I found that the woodworkers here on Knots were more interested in non-woodworking topics than in woodworking topics. Obviously, I wasn't serious. Just having some fun. Good to meet you. Hope you enjoy Knots. It's a great place.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
>How the heck did you find this old thread? I got it started because I found that the woodworkers here on Knots were more interested in non-woodworking topics than in woodworking topics. Obviously, I wasn't serious. Just having some fun. Good to meet you. Hope you enjoy Knots. It's a great place.I've been lurking very much on the fringes of Knots for a while ... I was reading some old posts from Alf, the Cornish Woodworker and she had a hilarious set of answers to a "women in woodworking poll." http://cornishworkshop.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_archive.html 15 February.While trying to find that post (which I did, and also posted on), I found yours. At first I was upset, but then realized the humor, and answered in the same way.I'm still in the "drink from the fire hose" stage of woodworking on the internet, and find Knots a bit much to swallow whole -- nothing bad, just so much information here! But I will wander through from time to time, more so as I run out of other places to investigate.
Good thread
Well I heard an interview on CBC Radio up here in the frozen north, Why was Mike Holmes so sexy? The women responded that men who could provide shelter and (have a good body) sort of scratch the primordial itch.
I ask my sweety all the time , her opinion on my projects, I enjoy her comments and she can help rip a sheet of 4/8 like a damn. I try to make her at least on nice thing a year.Now about getting the women smiling, tell them you make custom footwear and leather goods!! nother story on it's ownI also whip up salad spoons, boxes etc for gifts for her friends and others, which all are appreciated and they often comment " your lucky to be married to such a talented man"Did I mention women who drive trucks and have sawdust on them are sexy also.
A Sexy woman will be fully dressed as she walks up to a man. As she whispers in his ear. LETS PARTY!
Liz,
I am glad you didn't take any offense from the thread. I certainly intended none. A bunch of folks had a good time with it for a short time, and it went away. If I can be of any help in your woodworking adventure, please let me know. Knots can be and is overwhelming for a new person. After a while, you see the same folks over and over again, and you begin to see who is good, who can be trusted, who has what skills, who has what biases, etc, and then it all becomes clearer and simpler. Have fun.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread. I'm surprised that some Knots policy hasn't been broken. Maybe bent...Chris @ http://www.flairwoodwork.spaces.live.com(soon to be http://www.flairwoodworks.com)
- Success is not the key to happines. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. - Albert Schweitzer
Chris,
This is hilarious. I haven't thought about this thread in a few years. Hope all is well in Canada. Stay warm.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Do a search for "The Village Carpenter" blog, or you can access it from Chris Swartz's site (is one of the sites listed on the right hand side of the screen). Kari, the "Blogg-ster" not only has one of the nicest sites you'll come across, but she is also an extremely talented woodworker. Her site demos many different techniques and I'm amazed at the quality of work she produces.
T.Z.
I am still looking for the women that find wood workers sexy. Once I get that far then I can worry about finding one that finds me sexy.
I have yet to meet part one of this. Maybe I live in the wrong area?? Sigh.......
Doug M
Ahhhh, women in jeans, work boots and flannel shirts!
I've got a house full of cup cakes and when I mention sensible clothes (such as those above), I get much grief.
Heh, if they want to dress in frilly little things who am I to try and stop them? I will be willing to dress in jeans and such, the lady does not have to.
Doug M
yabut I'm also told what to wear and what not to wear. Middle cupcake is getting married this summer and it is setting up to be black tie formal. I was told absolutely no camoflage shorts to the reception, no matter how hot I am. I do get to have a cigar bar and I'm pushing for a pellet gun range as you don't see many pellet gun ranges at black tie wedding receptions.
Umm, OK, Do you happen to know my brother???? :)
I have had a tux on twice in my live. Once at senior prom years ago. And once at a friends wedding. I do NOT intent to have one on for a third time. As for them telling you what to do. That may (may mind you) explain why I do not happen to have one of those myself. I keep trying to find one with out the "tell males what to do" equipment, but I am not sure it is an option. It seams to be standard on all of them. On the other hand if I find one that thinks that grungy wood workers are sexy I may just be on the right track.
Like I said I think the OP way back when it dreaming.
Doug M
It been a long time since I have seen the the Red Green show.
Doug,
Maybe woodworkers need to advertise. Maybe we should start a "woodworker's calendar" which featured 12 woodworkers including yourself. We can work a deal with an existing corporation, such as Victoria's Secret. The company could give away a copy of the calendar with each purchase over $50.
After a few days, you could be overwhelmed with offers. What do you think? Now we need 11 more volunteers for the calendar. Lataxe is already married, so he is out. Philip might be willing. I could ask my wife if I can participate, but she would probably hurt herself laughing. So let's see if we get any volunteers.
Mel (always trying to help)
Measure your output in smiles per board foot.
Mel, For the calendar you could wear your power bowl carving git up that Lataxe admired so when first unveiled here on knots. The wife would surely approve of this, as it reveals very little yet speaks visual volumes of your masculinity.
How about Charles wearing the Zorro mask and swiping some dovetails with a sword in one hand whilst the other on the keypad taking the rest of the woodworking world down a few notches.
Then theres DKeller, neked ,surrounded by 400 some odd antique hand planes , and many gossamer shavings .
Many possibilities here NasaMel , If you need any more Ideas let me know.
Tom.
Edited 1/13/2009 9:23 pm ET by gofigure57
Edited 1/13/2009 9:25 pm ET by gofigure57
Tom,
Those are all scary ideas.
I have a better chance of making a living by trying to sell stuff cheaper than IKEA.
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Sorry to scare you old Mel, Don't know what got into me.
On the plus side a photo of me in a calander could get peaple to pay (so they don't have to see it that is).
Doug M (not a sexy woodworker)
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