how do you explain to your wife you bought a new tool that cost about 300 bucks? lol
only looking for funny or creative answers
just a “lets just say…” kind of question…
” Looks good from my house!!”
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Replies
Buy her a set of nice earrings! Kill two birds with one stone-Valentines is right around the corner. (It might cost you more than you spent for the tool right now, but use the difference as insurance toward a future tool purchase)
Dear Shoe;
Years ago I came out of the store with a new gun. The feces started to hit the fan when I reminded my wife that this had been discussed months ago and there were no problems then and it should be OK now.
I had discussed it with my buddies but not her. She was not too sure but I flew and I had what I wanted. I have not tried it since. I think this one is a one timer.
Jerry
LOL
excellent ideas from both of you
i'll post the feedback soon when the "fit hits the shan" and we know it always does" Looks good from my house!!"
Real simple as long as you've paid for it in CASH. Simply put it into the shop and use it. Get it covered in sawdust so it looks like it has been in your shop for QUITE a while. If she questions it, simply reply 'don't you remember, I bought this one six months ago when I was making the cabinets for that 'Jones job' . Works for me, now YOU try it (but not too often)
SawdustSteve
Ya know i thought i was gonna have to make her something big - but these solutions are soooo much easier.... i just hope they dont come back and bite in the *ss
cause then we're talkin' flowers AND dinner
" Looks good from my house!!"
shoe
"cause then we're talking flowers AND dinner"
Nah, we're talking Federal Witness Protection Program. Get the number for them in advance of the purchase. If you have teen-agers, you may already have it. ha.. ha....
Regards...
sarge..jtProud member of the : "I Rocked With ToolDoc Club" .... :>)
Found this elsewhere.... Might be a good idea to keep the DW away from the miter saw.
I've used our compound miter saw to cut beef leg bones into manageable pieces.
Who ever invented work didn't know how to fish....
sounds to me like you need to use your tools to build your wife a (very small) box to keep your huevos in, since it would appear you have no use for them... ;-)
(said the man whose wife also enjoys woodworking and, within reason, lets me buy whatever the he!! i want without giving me any static)
m
Well I was about to agree with you, in spirit anyway, though I was avoiding saying something that attacked this one person as so many have posted similar sentiments. In the end though, I COULDN'T agree for the following reasons...
".. wife is into woodworking also.."
"..within reason..."
"...Let's me..."
What if she wasn't into woodworking?
What does "within reason" mean?
What does "Let's me" mean?
Sounds like you are simply being "allowed" which is the same as what these other posters are seeking. I fail to see how this increases or maintains the size of one's "huevos".
Cheers,
G
"It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission"
I'm reminded of the story where, when this fellow dies, he finds two lines at the Pearly Gates. One has a sign above the portal reading "men who were henpecked by their wife". Looong line there... The other doorway has a sign too,"men who were NOT henpecked". Only one guy standing there. The newly departed goes over to the lone man, and asks him, "How come all those other guys are in that line and you're all by yourself here?" "I dunno, my wife told me to stand here."
Shoe
Whilst not exactly what you are asking for but I think worthy of this discussion was this part of an e-mail sent to me by one of my clients (buying for HER birthday) who wrote;
" can you give an indicative price on the bedroom suite, side tables & the coffee table as previously discussed so I can calculate how much she really means to me in $ & c at age 50."
Now should that e-mail fall into enemy hands I don't think he'll be alive long enough to pay the bill.
As for excuses I've tried them all and none have been particularly effective until I chanced upon this ruse.
1. Buy the tool with cash or card so that she doesn't know of it's existence for at least a couple of weeks. Use it so "it can't be returned"
2. Make something, anything, but preferably something SHE wants & try to include the new tool in it's construction (if not then maybe make allowances for a small untruth here). DO NOT explain too deeply about what it took to create this little gem at this point, however a bit of over- the- top you mean every thing to me stuff probably won't hurt (nor will it work either but sometimes a bloke has to gush a bit in the interests of tool aquisition).
3. Use the tool in the shop like it's been there for ever, but hide the box for disposal at a later date.
4. If you are questioned on the new aquisition you may now refer back to said 'little gem' & how the tool was integral in its construction (refer to 2, for you've now had some time to dream up something remotely plausible).
The rest is up to you
Good Luck
This is what happened to me.
I bought a new mitresaw...She took the huff and bought a new microwave
I bought a new plane...... She went out and bought a new dress, and two pairs of shoes
I bought a tennonsaw on sale (£5)...She went out and came back with a new car, and a crate of champagne. She duly dressed up in the new frock, put on the new shoes, emptied the crate, and sat on it drinking champagne, watching me in the shed,while I made a few saw cuts.
I bought a rule..(£1)...She went out, drunk after all that champaign, crashed the car, bought a Rolls Royce, joined a London jet set, got stoned, came home with the roller, a 23year old toy boy, two French poodles, pink lipstick wearing a marylin Monroe wig and hip hugging dress to match.
Today I bought a pencil........She emptied the house while I was out buying it, closed our bank accounts, bought a villa in Spain, left me a dear John letter telling me that woodworking had destroyed her marriage, as I had spent far above our means on tools and equipment.
She did leave me the poodles, the crate, and several empty bottles of champagne, and the white marylin monroe dress.
I now run courses for cross dresser woodworking enthusiasts, as the dress is the only article of clothing she left me.( Hard work keeping your balance planing in red high heel shoes though)
I have just finished my first project from the crate she left me, have signed up two TV series, several commercials for TV and a column in a national news paper.
Who says we woodworkers aren't survivors!!!!!!!
PS I can't tell you what happened to the poodles.......but I didn't go hungry!
MIKE
When my wife started to complain about my never ending need for more tools and the fact that she saw that she would never be able to park in the garage again. I told her that if I was going through my mid life crisis buying tools that will not only last a lifetime but also gave me the ability to stay in the garage and make fine pieces for her and the child or I could be like the neighbor who is gone every friday and saturday night in his little red car. It's your choice! To which she smiled and asked what I would like for dinner.
Our Guild had a auction for left over or donated tools for out new mentoring center we started this past summer. I told my wife that there was to be a auction and she gave me a check and asked that I keep it under a $100.00 or call first and lets talk about it if it is more that the $100.00 . Off to the auction with the check in my wallet to check out the tools. I picked up the list at the door of the 36 tools the guild was auctioning off and looked at all the tools but did not see anything that I really wanted. The auction started and some really great deals where being bought. When the end of the list was reached someone on the front row reminded the auctioneer of some tool not at the meeting. The tool was a Powermatic 8" jointer with little use , which I had been on the lookout for some time. The bidding started at $200.00 and quickly rose to $650.00 and stalled. I was panicked , No time to call the wife, the hammer was coming down with in seconds, my hand went up at $675.00 and no one upped the bid. I new the $675 was a good deal on a 8" but the deal got a lot better before I got it home 2 weeks later. The Powermatic is a American made unit that was 9 months old and came with new set of extra blades plus a mobile base. Needless to say the wife was not very happy with me when I told her what size the check was written for. I got on the web and showed her how much the new toy was going for new and after a couple days and few hundred "you owe me bigtime" she calmed down . The crazy thing is to this day I have never even plug the tool up to use it.
well my wife understands i make money with my tools , but regardless of that if i had to resort to lying or just fabracating a song and dance i can come up with so many its insane. on of the best is and it has been true for me but you can use it , ( I had left over materials from a job and had to take store credit as i didnt have a recipt and the saw only cost me 52.00 cash . or the money i had left over from materials and got it with out spending a dime. or i got it from a guy that needed beer money and it only cost 100.00 stupid guy. this is just to easy . another my friend and i went in together halves and he want me to keep it at my house... come on everyone lets have some more.
Well, for starters you may have to change your forum name from "shoemaker" to "some other" "maker" if things don't go well.
As stated previously, if the tool was paid for with cash it doesn't need to be declared to the authorities unless discovered. If discovered, AND the tool is a dust collector, you can justify the tool cost by calculating tissue savings over the next 38 years. If the tool is not a DC, refer back to the first paragraph. But if the tool is a quality hunk of cast iron, tell her you'll be able to resell it in a few years and get back every penny plus have the use of the tool over that time period...basically free rental if you will, so it'll be viewed as a savvy investment.
Either way your next project should be a jewelry box that's been seeded with a few fine items. Dinner reservations for two wouldn't hurt anything either! LOL, God be with you!
Buy another tool that costs less and is considerably smaller. Then try the "look at this HUGE new tool (try really hard not to say toyl) it ONLY cost $300. compared to this tiny $30 block plane (she doesn't need to know it's really a LN140 with nicker) it's a bargain"
or try "it was only $298.99" say it real fast so the decimal seems to fall between the 9 and 8
or try "with this tool I thee pledge my undying love and comittment"
keep separate bank accounts "I feel embarassed knowing how much you lavish on my birthday, father's day, christmas present" has worked for 17 years so far
Show her a Laguna or Minimax combo unit that goes for 10-11K and then explain to her how this $300.00 machine can replace the 10K unit therefore saving you $9700.00.
:-)
John
When I logged in just now, the discussions-title list start out thusly: "Wife related prob Secret compartment on Bed" Whoa! What's Knots coming to??! ROFL!
forestgirl Another proud member of the "I Rocked With ToolDoc Club" .... :>) you can take the girl out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the girl ;-)
i haven't really pushed the envelope yet but so far i've dropped $3k on an excellent used combo machine without her batting an eye. aaaaaand..... we just sold our company (finally! hallelujah, hallelujah!) for a tidy sum so i'm thinking my allowance just took a sizeable leap.
on the other hand, if she wasn't interested in this stuff too, i might be just another groveling schlub like the rest of the gang around here- maybe. my wife is actually pretty cool about most stuff. it partly stems from the fact that i hired her away from a good paying job she hated in corporate america about five years ago, gave her a huge raise in the process and (after a very long ugly legal battle with an unscrupulous, greedy former partner) sold the company and told her i want "X" amount for toys and finishing the shop (which as i said, she likes too), split the household expenses, and the rest- about 10X- was hers to do with whatever she wants. i know when i've got it good and i aim to keep her happy. yeah she's got me wrapped around her little finger and that's just where i want to be. :-)
m
Fun thread, alot of good replies!
I find it best to discuss new toys (excuse me tools) with the wife first. My wife rarely questions or makes any waves but if she should I just challenge her to equal purchasing power on each of our parts. She caves right away! No contest!
Enjoy, Roy
My wife is the money person for both our home and business. This, thank God, makes her a very frugal person. Therefore, I've had to learn over the years to appeal to her logic and sense of value.
When I decided to move up to the General 1 hp tilting mortiser I learned that in addition to its price the shipping charge would be $200.00. I waited... Soon, we took a short trip from our home in Kentucky to see her sister in Columbus- she was about to have surgery. Step #1 I suggested we drive the mini-van. Step #2 I called Woodwerks and yes they have one on the floor. Step #3 After spending the night at a motel near the hospital, and near Woodwerks- hee, hee we drive over to see what all Woodwerks has. Wow! They have this mortiser I've been wanting, but would have to speed $200.00 to ship. Well Sandy (my wife), I could save the $200.00 by just going ahead and buying it now... we're in the mini-van.
Guess who's got a new mortiser. Ken
Edited 1/25/2004 3:58:11 PM ET by Ken's Shop
Edited 1/25/2004 3:58:37 PM ET by Ken's Shop
Edited 1/25/2004 3:58:59 PM ET by Ken's Shop
Edited 1/25/2004 5:04:17 PM ET by Ken's Shop
<<how do you explain to your wife you bought a new tool that cost about 300 bucks? lol>>
Make damn sure your wife makes more money than you do. Then these problems rarely come up!!!
I have my own account. If the tool is needed for a job, I figure it in. I put a little away into the account every once in a while and let it build. I guess I'm lucky to have a mid life crisis be nothing more than a collection of some nice hand planes....actually I don't have time for a mid life crisis. Get your own account or squirrel it away in a little tin box. I have practiced the art of using the tool for a while and then when asked about it just saying " That old thing?...Oh I've had that for...hmmm...oh...a long time" Long time can be very subjective.
If I want.......no.......NEED a new tool I just buy it.
The last one of substance I bought was a mitre saw. It was $200 off so I couldn't pass it up. ( I really did need one anyway )
Got it home and the light of my life asked "what is that?" the reply was of course that it was 200 bucks off and I needed one in order to work. simple. No aggro. ( There was a raised eyebrow, but I avoided that look as it has been known to kill a fella )
NOW however I am quoting on jobs and factoring in a tool I need but dont have. eg: I dont have a power drill ( strange but true ) so the latest quote had a nice new grunty Makita added to it. No problems with the missus and i gets the new toys.......no.....tools I need. <G>
Everything, 100% of it, depends on how you look at it.
DW
Looks like you have alot of felow wwers that have some input, or maybe have had the same thing come up, The thing is to tell her to look at the things that I can make with it for the home! And the gifts I can make for people.
Ha! Ha ! I'm single after two devorices and don't have to deal with that problem!
Shoe,
I had a friend who was a pretty good golfer. I asked him once how he managed to play so much golf...being married and all. He said it's really quite simple...every Saturday morning when I wake up I turn to my wife and say.."Well, what's gonna be..golf or sex"
It seems to me one ought to be able to construact a similar argument/proposal ..with a bit of creativeity...relative to tools...lol
PS. My friend is divorced now
I charge a materials markup on my construction jobs and save the money for use when I want to buy a tool or machine, that way its not coming out of the family budget. Building my wife a blanket chest this christmas went a long way in showng her what the tools can do.........and an added benefit was the two wooden handplanes (from crownpoint tools) that she got me for a present.........
Tell your wife that you're going to get a part time job. Explain to her that you really will miss being around the family and all, but you don't want to dip into the family account to buy this tool that you just gotta have.
Just hope she believes the bluff.
Myles
Shoemaker:
I tell my lovely betrothed that 1) I don't go out drink with the boys (often); 2) I don't chase women; 3) I bath the kids every night; and 4) my truck is 8 years old. A compulsion to buy a stinking new tool every now and then is my worst vice. Would you prefer a trade?
My wife just caught me using her expensive marble rolling pin to flatten a bit of veneer - now we are both buying new tools!
Yes,I made it. No,not hard. Yes, a long time.
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