You know they’re a REAL woodworker because…
flairwoodworks
| Posted in General Discussion on
Help me out defining what separates the woodworkers from the rest of the crowd. Here’s a start: -They are more interested than the bottom of the table than what’s on top -They have sawdust in their hair instead of dandruff -Dressing up means putting on less-dusty clothes -They blow themselves off with compressed air instead of showering -Of the plaid or the pencil behind the ear (which they lost, of course) -“Secretary” means a desk, not a person -Birds eyes and fish eyes have nothing to do with animals -Walking through the woods, they’re not admiring the beauty of the trees, but rather marvelling at their potential
Replies
It's funny and about half the
It's funny and about half the statements are close to true, however not all. I wear suits and have a secretary and a receptionist among others. I am of course a hobbyist so therefore woodworking is secondary for me. Once I retire, if ever, it will become primary. I still consider myself a woodworker.
In my case the cars don't fit in the garage anymore, much to the disappointment of my wife.
Jim
Hi Chris
How about
-Woodworkers sniff glue to see if its off rather than for a high.
-Woodworkers always eat cold food cause they ignore 1st, 2nd and 3rd calls for a meal.
-When a woodworker talks about a screw he's not talking dirty.
-Woodworkers have a minimum of 15 tapemeasures none of which he (or she) can find.
-The only person that weeps at a bonfire.
-Has 10 year old wardrobes in his bedroom with no doors
regards
wot
wotnow, good one on the tape measures,think you missed some thing though. When he or she locates said tapes, makes the proper mark, we generaly find after the cut the factory put the numbers in the wrong spots. garyowen
Garyowen,
I find that I'm
Garyowen,
I find that I'm doing a job in metric (mm) and after losing my tape the only one I can find is in inches
wot
Wot,
All excellent points you noted above. I can relate. However, don't you think that this tape measure thing is trying to tell you something?
Woodworkers have excellent money-handling skills. If there's any left over after buying wood and tools they'll buy food.
"Woodworkers have excellent money-handling skills. If there's any left over after buying wood and tools they'll buy food."
Rich, you forgot: "... and then clothes."
Nah,
Bought some in 1960. They're still good. Might want to take the tags off and throw 'em in the washer once, tho'.
Woodworkers
- Know that the black marks on their hands are from polyurethane glue and will last about five days
- Chop the maple firewood first and set some aside for turning blanks
- Are appalled at the sight of planer marks on furniture at a garage sale
- Will look longingly and lustfully at clamps in a hardware store even though they've seen them before.
- Divide all furniture into two groups, either: 1) "I could make that," or 2) "Pshaw! Looks like it was made in an Asian sweatshop with CNC machines!"
- A REAL woodworker says, "Look, dear, I've made you a new fur coat from the critters hiding in the wood-drying shed."
- Some of the REAL woodworker's tapes are so old they're marked in cubits.
- a "folding rule" has nothing to do with origami.
- doesn't understand the use of "splinter" to describe a political group.
-When a Real Woodworker is asked what his favorite tool is, he answers "the shop vac".
Real woodworkers doesn't
Real woodworkers doesn't count sheep at night. They count hand planes.
Real woodworkers don't make mistakes. They make design revisions.
Real woodworkers will wear their boots until the newspaper soles wear out for the fourth time, but will spend any amount necessary to buy a tool for one time use, "because I need it..."
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