We’re Giving Away Grooving Planes!
Apr 07, 2011
This outtake from a recent photo shoot just begs to be captioned with a funny one-liner. Take a shot and you might end up with a matched set of handplanes made by Matt himself.
UPDATE with the winning caption: Wow! I can’t believe how many people took a crack at winning the planes. I’m very impressed, but I guess I’ll make this brief and just announce the winner. That’s what everyone wants to know anyway. And the winner is: JL Young, who was the seventh person to post a caption. Here’s the winning caption: “Look deeep into my eyes……..Subscribe…to…Fine… Woodworking.” Thanks to everyone for participating. We’ll have to try something like this again then next time I make a tool. (I did just make a vacuum press. Anyone interested? Kidding, of course!)
Ever since I first blogged about my grooving planes, I’ve gotten a lot of requests to explain how I made them. In fact, some folks even emailed me on a regular basis to ask when I would get that done (Hello Al!). After my fellow editors saw the planes, they thought it would be a good idea to share them with our readers, so I wrote a short article explaining how to make them. It appears in the issue of Fine Woodworking that is just about to land in mailboxes and newstands. Look for it in the Handwork section of the magazine.
For the article, I ended up making another pair of the planes. Of course, I don’t need two pairs, so I thought it would be fun to give them away to one of you. Interested? If so, just write a funny caption for the picture below. That goofy fellow is me and I don’t mind some good natured ribbing. We’ll pick a winner on April 29th and I’ll post the winner’s name and caption here. Good luck and have fun.
One more thing: If you want to make a pair for yourself, you can buy the blades from Lie-Nielsen. I made mine from a pair of molding plane blanks, but had to do all the grinding and heat treating myself. The new ones from Lie-Nielsen save you that bit of dirty work.
Caption Copy, Anyone?
Post your creative caption for this outtake from our recent article on shopmade grooving planes in the comments section at the bottom of this blog post.
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More on Handplane Tech |
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This outtake from a recent photo shoot just begs to be captioned with a funny one-liner. Take a shot and you might end up with a matched set of handplanes made by Matt himself.
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We're profiling how to make a matched set of grooving planes in issue 219, and to make things a bit more interesting, we're giving away a set to the reader who comes up with the most creative caption!
Comments
This is just 'plane' groovy...get it? Get it? Tough crowd.
"Could you get me a bandage? I just planed off the tip of my right index finger!"
"I'm too sexy for my plane, too sexy for my plane. Two planes going to leave me." (With apologies to Matthew Kenney and Right Said Fred)
Groovin' . . . on a Sunday afternoon
It was Sunday, wasn'y it?
"Warning: These planes that work so smoothly, they may induce a hypnotic state"
Chris Schwarz said WHAT?
Don't these little planes make my hands look HUGE!?!?
Look deeep into my eyes........Subscribe...to...Fine... Woodworking.
get your grove on when you use these grooving plane to make her a jewelery box.
Goovin'on a Sunday afternoon.
ala the Young Rascals???
"Hey... HEY! I'm down here Buddy! Typical Kenney, always hamming it up for the camera." - grooving plane
Eureka! That hair loss product will help me get my groove back on!
"To groove or not to groove...--Are you kiddin'? That's no question at all with these guys!"
I was trying to come up with something clever about how the planes could also be used to shave your head but after reading JLYoung's suggestion, I think you have to give it to him.
"Calm breaths. Don't look down. I'm sure my thumb is fine...
BILL!! Bring the gauze, I did it again!!"
No offense Matt
None taken. I was the third of four children. I can definitely take some good natured (and not-so-good-natured) abuse.
Seriously? You just did'nt ask me if I actually made these myself?
"Come to my shop...brothers and sisters...you too will experience the groove..."
LOL,... i can't believe i'm doing this,.. from the old song: "Feelin Groovy",...Groovy,Groovy,.....
"Are you serious? No way am I taking my shirt off or getting on top of this bench. Guys, I really don't think the new photographer from Vogue is working out!"
BOSS THE PLANE THE PLANE
MAN THIS PICTURE IS WORSE THAN MY DRIVERS LICENSES. WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME?
SUPER GLUE ON THE HAND PLANE REAL FUNNY REAL FUNNY GUYS.
"I'm sure these work better if you let the blade out a little."
"Have you taken the photo yet?"
"Hurry up, I can feel blood..."
Any or all of the above!
Okay how does this work? Ummm.....ok insert finger here, push forward, bring back, and repeat until satisfied. Sweet!
Another "Against the Grain" game? Nope, with these two little planes, you'll be grooving with the grain -- always!
How about "Groovin' with Grooves"
Even your wife will understand why you need these planes!
Just a little bit more, and my fingernails will be just right.
For my next trick, I'll shave off my other fingers.
"FWW Senior Editor Matthew Kenney reacts as a production assistant (out of frame) informs him that he's grooved the wrong side of the workpiece for the *third* straight time."
"This is just plane simple"
No this bottom will fit in the box, just one or two more passes and......
Its going to take a lot more then hand planes to make this guy groovy, his next project should be goofing planes because this cat is straight goofy
You won't be sticking out your tongue to this groovy set of planes.
Say I look like Moby again....come on Asa, SAY IT!
Our Grooving Planes ARE simply described as "the grooviest"
If anyone calls this a dado, you may leave the classroom now!
Here I will show you how to use a tool that Norm has never seen. If enough of you readers like this I will be able to buy the sleeves for my shirt and I will look just like him. Shoot, I forgot the most important thing. Please remember to wear these safety glasses.
"Move over T Mac, T Chisel, or whatever your name is. I'm ready for prime time!"
As Richard Simmons would say "Sweating to the Groovies"
Slick Plane? Uh, no camera...here, pull my finger...
Now if the plane skips out of the groove (like an old 45 record) just put more weight on it......I think......yea that should work....
"I totally just ran over my fingers, didn't I..."
After this shot, I got to put the blade in the right way!
"Here's lookin' at you groove"
Yeah the irons are sharp, what, you test it with your arm hair-that's the silliest thing I ever heard!!
This is way more groovy than a shaper.
Oh, I'm supposed to PUSH it?
Looks like a pushover plane to me.
Do you think they can tell I'm not wearing pants?
I seem to have cut the Dickens out of my finger!
I like my planes like I like my women, very sharp and able to take a transparent shaving out of curly maple.
It's a groove, NOT a rut!
I know I'm in the groove, but you're gonna love this joke. A priest, a rabbi, and Chris Schwarz walk into a bar...
These plane irons hold an edge so sharp I can easily plane this highly figured maple even after shavnig my head with them.
The plane truth is these planes are groovy.
Oh man!!!!! You guys are killing me with these captions. Please stick to woodworking. I am sure you guys are better at woodworking than you are at comedy. No offense though.
For this segment, I just finished grooving the side panel you see in the picture, when our new, well meaning, just-out-of-art-school camera says 'So, why are you putting grooves in drawer panels? I mean, all the drawers I buy already come with grooves in them.' You can see my response in the photo. We stopped shooting and had a little chat about how camera's drawers got grooves in them too.
I'm so in the groove, I don't even need to watch what I'm doing!
...but luckily I now have this adorable wooden box with which I will transport my index finger in style to my local emergency room. Wish I had it for my left hand finger tips.
Really?....the naked cameraman stunt again....really?
How many saftey issues are possible with this bad boy. First, use to create tinder for bbq after saturating with flamable liquid of choice. Secondly, while planing groove; slip and remove section of skin shape that symbolizes religous or political motif of choice. And lastly beware the kickback its a doozey. Follow these easy steps and you too will enjoy the rewards of a job well done.
In the shop getting my groove on!
"Did she really say she wants to meet me?
"Can I move yet?"
or
"Quick, find my finger!"
I wonder if Norm ever wore short sleeves?
We're giving them away? Yeah but i'm still getting paid to make them, right??
"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."
I'm in the groove, now!
...and if you plane enough grooves, you too will get guns like these.
"Now THAT will put a little hair on your palms!"
And THAT'S how I got my groove back!
Matt is "planely" in a groove
Because of financial pressures at the magazine, Matt decided to take on some part time work performing circumcisions. Here Matt shows us how he makes some great tips and the box he keeps them in.
How Matthew got his groove on.
His hippie days are clearly gone, but Matt keeps groovin' on.
What's that you say ... that Aflac job is open?
... a groove is like a box of chocolates, ...
Did I ever tell you I made grooves to pay my way through college?
You young whippersnappers don't know nuthin bout grooves. Why I used to make grooves in three feet of snow to git to school, uphill, both ways.
I name all my planes you know. This one is named Pat.
You know, when I think about it, I can't believe I trusted anybody with a name like Madoff. It even sounds like he's going to take off with your money!
I remember my first box. It had the nicest grooves you have ever seen.
Fourteen trillion? And my share is how much? Maggie, how much is that per groove?
These simple grooving planes will add definition that is as smooth as my head...
Look folks - my new thin strip cutting jig!!!
The Plane Truth... "I'll show you how to make this grooving plane if you stop playing that song, "Feeling Groovy"!
“Don’t furrow your brow, furrow your wood instead.”
“If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your ‘plane’ and move to another groove.”
“I don’t dig staying in one groove.”
”When you get a groove going, time flies.”
“These grooves sure got me out of a rut.”
“Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.”
“There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just ‘plane’ nuts.”
“It’s a great Gorge Charlie Brown.”
“Two simple ways to get into a rut.”
How would (wood) you like to a profile like this?
An old 60's song "Groovy" says it best.
"just groovin, on a Sunday afternoon"
WHAT! Your giving my planes away?
Howz about.... "just, workin' with wood and feelin GROOVY!!!
Ta da da daaaa da daaa da, feelin groovy.....
I have to plug them in?
Measure twice groove once
"This set will get you grooving"
That's right, I'm getting my groove on.
Kenney reacts as Pekovich informs him (again) that, like tenons, grooves can be cut faster and more effectively on the table saw or router table.
'To groove or not to groove', that is the questions!
Hey look, they make grooves!
"Planely Groovy"
Match-making for woodworkers
Uh, this is a GROOVING demo; if you want splines for the box we'll have to change sets
"Make a set of "groovy" grooving planes with Mat Kenny
Hello Al!!
Go ahead Al - make my day!
Get in the groove...the right groove
To groove or not to groove...that is the question.
These new planes by Matthew Kenny are just groovy.
It's really easy to get in a groove with these new planes by Matthew Kenny.
Matthew Kenny's new planes are groovy.
Look ma, no power tools!
Nice work so far folks. Keep them coming.
Are you sure we should be using plywood for this? Planes work best with solid wood.
What do you mean, "I have more hair on my arms than on my head?" The camera is supposed to be focused on the planes, isn't it?
sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
No I don't know how much wood a woodchuck would chuck.
"Gee I hope I did this right"
$20.00 A BOARD FOOT...
IT'LL BE ALRIGHT, IT'S JUST A STUPID GROOVE
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY -
"DON'T LOOK DOWN...JUST DON'T LOOK DOWN!!!"
And that is how a fingernail plane works...
Some people check to see if their blades are sharp by shaving the hair on the back of their hand. Me, I use my head.
Handmade grooving planes deserve a groovy shirt!
Grooving down the line with handmade grooving planes!
"Let's see how can I win that editor's contest for the most comments on a blog entry? Hmmm..."
"Let's see how can I win that editor's contest for the most comments on a blog entry? Hmmm..."
oops, I just tooted...
"I'll start the shelf for this jewelry box by gently planing off the tips of the fingers on my right hand."
Slow down, you’re moving too fast.
You got to make that Dado blade last.
Just plowing a grove with a nice pair of planes
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...Feelin' plane Groovy.
Get in the groove, With Fine Woodworking!!
Don't have a router, do it like they have been for years before electricity.
Does this make me groovy?
If you think you can do it in less passes, groove it.
Get your groove on with hand planes. Anyone can be groovy with these and a little practice.
Look mom no fingers!
Go ahead, make my groove.
In these tough ecomonic times you can make your own planes, and then give a jewelry box since you can not afford jewelry.
Happiness is a smooth cutting grooving plane, Charlie Brown.
Cut your grooves digitally
(using all your fingers and avoid losing any
so let me get this right, i bust my b@lls making these planes, i write you a blog, i stand here for hours with a photographer that noticed 1/2 hour into the shoot that he hadn't taken the lens cap off and want me to give my planes away to someone who writes a witty caption... ok then, i guess you can now tell what i'm thinking in this photograph, and the answer's no, you can't have the box i made for them.
Really! I bet Woodsmith magazine wouldn't make me do this.
Yep, I'm just plane groovy.
Got small parts, a few strokes with these will give you lovely grooves
Grooving to the left and grooving to the right.
If I had a set of these I'd be "Feel'n Groovy".
Time to get your groove on!
"What do you mean there's already a specialty tool on the market for trimming nails called a clipper?"
What's a Router ?
YOU talkin to ME ???---YOU! talkin to ME!!???
The plane and simple truth is, you got a righteous groove!
"What do you mean? I can't use my router or my table saw."
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"What? We're dropping this picture for the bikini bimbo who didn't know the difference between a router and a groove plane?... No, I can't hold the planes in my cleavage.... Yes, our market is mostly male, but we could increase our female market if I can flex my guns while pretending plane a groove."
-
"Yes it will save more electricity by forcing me to use this plane. However, the money saved using a router or table saw with a dado bladed will be more significant when you check
my hourly rates."
-
Create groove plane: 4 hours X hourly pay rate
Pitch groove planes to Bosses: 1 hour X hourly pay rate
Create two more planes for blogs and magazine articles: 20 hours X hourly pay rate
Pitch giving away extra planes to winner of Witty Comment Contest: 1 hour X hourly pay rate
Reading Witty Comments submitted by people who'll do anything for freebies: 2 hours X hourly pay rate
Pick winner of Witty Comments randomly: 15 seconds (rounded to 1 hour) X hourly pay rate
Successfully milking the clock: Priceless
(You know the tune!)
Groovin' on a workshop afternoon.
Really, couldn't fit that drawer too soon.
I can't imagine a fit that's better.
The world is ours whenever we're together.
--Brian
Can you believe it? They actually pay me to do this stuff.
Come on take the picture already. The GQ photographers are so much better, and craft services are better too. Why do I put up with this? Male modeling is so grueling I haven't eaten all day.
"And today, we are getting into the groove, in the neighborhood. Hey, Where's my sweater?"
Of course, when you cut a groove across your workbench like this, it should really be called a dado...
Life I love you, all is groovy.
(For you youngsters, it's from the "59th St. Bridge Song")
Groovy planes plain gain!
A groovy pair, Matthew & his planes!
I'm offering you a free set of grooving planes and you demand my autograph on the planes?? No, you can't ask for my collection of autographed 8x10 glossies from famous woodworkers as a substitute prize!
Hhmmm, I wonder what I can use to cut grooves into these beautiful pieces of wood? Hate for them to go to waste. Oh look! I have these great grooving planes. I'll use them.
Groove is in the heart...wood.
the bowling ball is in the groove
How this fella got his groove back...
I am one 'grooovy guy'.
Pushen A groov,Pushen A groov cha cha cha!
What do you mean my wife's in labor? She can't be, I haven't finished the grooves for the toy box drawers yet!!!
Well, there goes my fingers.
Grooovin on a Sunday afternoon . . .
"It rubs the lotion on its skin..."
Yes, I do have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale.
And that's how you make a groove with a plane. Hang on, can someone grab my fingertip and put it in a bag with some ice? I feel lightheaded. Stop laughing Asa...
And that's how you use a grooving plane. Hang on..
Can someone grab my fingertip and put it in a bag with some ice? Stop laughing Asa. I feel lightheaded....
And remember, ALWAYS pay attention to where your fingers are placed.
And that's how you use a grooving plane. Hang on.
Can someone grab my fingertip and put it in a bag with some ice? Stop laughing Asa. I'm feeling lightheaded. Get me a stretcher.
Sometimes old fashioned is really groovy!
How Matthew got his grove back!
You question me?
Hello Neighbor.....Welcome to My Wood Shop!!!
Senior Editor Matthew Kenney reacts to massive blood loss as his severed right index finger floods his workpiece. The light headed editor said, "Can someone helmphhh" just before passing out.
or
Senior editor Matthew Kenney explains how blood from a lacerated finger is actually an excellent sanding sealer.
Um, I think I just grooved my thumbnail.
...and remember when building your own box to start the groove in your work piece and not your finger.
"okay you caught me, but I really was just showing that these could be used by either hand"
"Me make fire!"
A router faster, I could not have formed my groove with, Master Yoda.
Striking a manly pose for the cover of "Guns and Planes" magazine, Matt reflects thoughtfully on a of high fiber diet of wooden hand tools to stay in the groove.
Does this thing have a reverse?
I should have done something about this farmers tan before they took my picture
Do you think they can tell I've never used one of these before
Are you kidding me? If you don't point your index finger like this you get tons of tearout.
Ok, the tools and shavings are set, so let's pause here and bring in my stunt double for the action shots
Okay, I'm still waiting for my right-handed twin to come in and cut with the other plane
Caption for Grooving planes photo
"who says these aren`t the Grooviest??"
Now let`s see if Ryobi are interested in a version.
these even accept the original Derek Cohen blade angle adjustment and can be used as a scraping plane!
when my wife finds out about these I`ll need another pair!
Tim the "Tool Man" said his T-130 Hyper Groove Plane does it quicker with a hipper stroke. I think we need a plane off contest.
All of the chisels behind me can be used as replacement blades, because they are metric widths.
Nuthin` complicated at all--just plane simple
How many fingers did I start with????
Grooven a box!
Funkin' Grooven
Hi, Norm Abrams here for Nutrisystem!
Play Against the Grain: The Wrong Way to Groove!
Look, Ma...two hands!
Groove is not the question, groove is the answer. Groovy!
My suggested title and lead:
"Staying in the Groove"
Hi, I'm Matthew Kenney. Here at Fine Woodworking our shirt sleeve lengths are not always cutting edge fashion, but our hand made tools: never out of style.
Who in the heck stole my cue cards??????
Next, I will show you how to groove both sides at the same time.
"You could be groovin two"
"Feeling the groove"
OR
"Feeling groovy"
I wonder how many "groovy puns" will be suggested? Maybe I'll just keep the planes.
Will this work in the UK, (Different voltage)?
Why Ol'date muss and fuss?; For a fine wood remover use my shopmade planing groover!
All my old buddies never thought that I was grovey - guess I showed them.
So take the picture already...
See? This is how you get your groove on!
Lost my hair but found my groove!
".....now line up your lingers along the grooves and you can begin to shoot your fingernails. Short and deliberate strokes and you will groom those lunch hooks quite easily. Be carefull not to go too deep......and for clean up, put those nail shavings in this wonderful keepsake box we made last week until they can be disposed of proberly."
De Plane! De Plane!
To gouge a guttered vein, I should use a groove plane.
Just to show you that you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars on expensive tools, and at the same time you can show off your skills.
Matt freezes when he spots his pocket protector in the cameramans shirt.
Groovy groovers! Get on down with this matched pair of grooving planes.
Traditional grooves done the old fashion way, we earned it!
Handmade grooving planes. A "Green" alternative to woodworking!
Bald, glasses, plaid shirt......at least the planes are groovy.
Don't let the tears show on camera I'm supposed to be a professional.So why did I groove my finger
What's up, just da plane.
What ? I could not here my I pad.
In the Groove
Groovy, baby!
Matt freezes as he spies his pocket protector in the cameramans pocket.
In the next edition I will show you how to unstick your hands after using "super glue"!
Ah yes, and now we'll just skip to the first aid portion of the program.
How To Get Your Groove On Without Waking Everybody Else Up In The House!
Just Groving...
"Groovin'... on a Sunday afternoon... groovin'... couldn't get away too soon..."
With this set I can fiannly get my groove on!
"yes, bald men do make the best tools!! We lost it all in the thought process!!"
....how Mathew Kenney got his groove back.
Through the wooden fibres I move
I just got into the groove
My colleagues thought I was insane
I could not build this grooving plane
I can't look, is that blood?
Groovy plans for Groovy Planes
At least I look SOMEWHAT interested, not like that guy with the router.
You're WHAT!
Doing his best Simon and Garfunkel imatation, Matt gets a feel for the wood.
Can you believe this? I just run this thingy across this wood and wala, a groove?
Hey man, building these tools is just "plane groovey"!
... and then I casted a live nightcrawler over the other side towards the shore and tried a slow reel but no more luck there so I thought, I need one of those Jitterbugs to give this some action the fish would like but I didn't have one of those so...
Oh yes, chocolate is my favorite with icing and creme filling.
Hey man, building these tools is just "plane groovy"!
Groovin', on a Sunday afternoon
Why yes, I put these grooves in these other ones myself, they make great conversation pieces on the bench when I have guests over but will often get in the way when I am grooving a piece of lumber.
How come I am left handed in one picture and right handed in the other? Boy I'm more talented than I thought. Groovy
And it's very important that your shirt and smock colors coordinate with the wood to be really groovy
And it's very important that your shirt and smock colors coordinate with the wood to be really groovy
I am making this for Stella who?
To grove or not to grove; that is the question.
Now lets see The Fonz do THAT with his fingernail!
"And if you call right now, we'll even DOUBLE the offer!"
You can tell by the peaceful, satisfied look on my face; in the shop or not, I'm in the groove.
And then I made this great box by grooving some half datoes and glueing it up. My wife had an old prom dress which she let me cut up to line the box with and it was so nice I decided to use it for these grooving planes instead of a gift for my sister who, can you believe it, actually asked for a box but I can't be the only guy who makes velvet lined boxes for everyone so I think I should do something nice fore myself sometimes and anyway...
This is so easy I do not even need to watch what I am doing!!
Be sure to read, understand, and follow all the safety rules that come with your tools. Knowing how to use your tools properly will greatly reduce the risk of personal injury. And remember this: there is no more important safety rule than to wear these — safety glasses.
It's time to get your GROOVE on.
"Groovy Baby. Yeah!"
"I'm just groovin, on a Sunday afternoon."
…and we only need 117 million more of you to convert to hand tools to significantly reduce our dependence on foreign oil. Turn off that router and save the country.
I hope the blood doesn't show.
As you can see,I am not a plane Jane.
You kiddin me ???!! A router can do this ????
He groves as he moves with his hand as he stands just plan and simple
Tell me I didn't just take off the end of my finger!
Operation is simple - just repeatedly push forward until you burnish the tops of your arms.
and...there goes my finger
Get down & get groovy with Matt.
"Seriously!? They forgot the duck sauce again!?
I told you I wanted to fix my hair before you took the picture!
Okay, okay, I'll give away the plain set but I'm keeping the plaid ones for myself!
My grooving planes allow me to confidently groove in the shop.
But a toupée allows me to confidently groove outside the shop.
Wood Groov'n
Groove in a box
"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the froe do you think you're talking to?"
And if you think this looks easy you should try it right handed!
Man, I'm Grovin
“Last time, I showed you how to use smoothing planes for a perfect hair style. This week, we’ll deal with some pesky cuticles!”
See how this plane works on the left hand groove.
Want to see me do the right hand groove with the other plane?
It's a quick, clean and easy way to trim all your finger nails in one swipe!
Feelin' Groovey
Movin' an' groovin' to the music.
And the best thing about hand tools...no ear muffs!
I made these planes and they actually work - Wow!
These have got to be the grooviest planes I have ever used...
are we done with this segment yet? this hand tool thing is getting old.
See I can cut a groove without even looking down....ouch!
you want to groove--you want to groove--You can't handle the groove!
This beats working in a cubicle
Easy as pie...and Groovy too!
I had a burrito for lunch and it's killing me.
Groove Planes this issue, Funk Chisels coming soon. Glue-up on the down stroke as we build the mothership, stain it James Brown, and set sail to the soul center of the woodworking universe.
Groovin' on a Sunday afternoon
Norm Abrams would never do it this way...
I love this grooving plane but, does this apron make me look - you know - fat?
Look mom a groove.
Plane Groovy
Ok....who farted???
After you knead the dough for three or four minutes you're going to want to put it in a bowl, cover it, and let it rise for....
Oh wait, the teleprompter has the script for my cooking show!
Moby shows us that tea and turn tables aren't his only talents!
"Groovin' up simply"
No really, I made them myself....Yes I did....Yes I did.
huh... wooden' have guessed it, but it works!
Walnut shavings from Birch ply - Shocking.
Norm taught me this simple way to manicure my nails when I visited the New Yankee Workshop.
Leys see now, where was I?
Matthew "getting his groove on!"
"slow hands and an easy touch"
Shake your Groove thing
or
Get into the groove...boy you've got to prove your up to me.
Hi I'm Matt and grooving planes are your friend.
Hi I'm Matt and you're watching this week's installment of "Groovin with Bald Guys"
You see Ma? I told you this shirt would lighten up the set. And Norm, don't you dare, I did it first!
Be sure to get my good side. This is my audition tape for "Tool Time".
Note to self: Move fingers on right hand out of the plane's path. HOLY &%$#!
Hi I'm Matt and if it wasn't for these groovy planes and short sleeve plaid shirt I would be so damn uncool.
"What, me, groovy??"
And there you have it.... bob's your uncle.
Be sure to get my good side. This is my audition tape for "Tool Time".
Gee, did I remember to let the dog back in before I rushed off to this photo shoot?
Oopps! What did I groove now?
"Groovin - and no router required"
These cordless grooving planes will outlast any Lithium-Ion tools currently on the market!
Oopps! What did I grove now?
these little rascals are really going to impress my Stella. Can't wait to get home.
While groovin' he's groovin' how groovey.
When at first you succeed, try not to look surprised!
Plane and Simple... You can Groove it!
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
"Me and my plane... like it!"
Just Groove it!
I made this nice box (to my right) using only this grooving plane!
"Don't try this on Grandma's antique table"
Groovin on up!
Finally, I found my groove!
It's a Groove Thang!
Only at Fine Woodworking can one learn how to make a left handed groove with a right handed grooving plane!!
What will I do with them when they are made?
Cordless router with variable speed control.
I told you - it doesn't have a plug.
Being in the proper groove...is a clean way to success!
Goofy guy makes Grooving planes. Really.
How sweet it is!
While I hate posing for these photos, I just love using these grooving planes. I hope you will too.
Only at Fine Woodworking can one learn how to make a left handed groove with a right handed grooving plane!!
Shave and a haircut?
Making your first grooving plane will be faster and more accurate if you use a grooving plane.
Not one to be outdone by Greg Paolini, Matthew Kenney sets out on an amazing journey for "The Most Ridiculous Photo Ever" where he rediscovers himself and auditions for the hit comedy series "Glee"
Go Green, use my plane groovin' machine.
"Peelin' groovy"
To make a grooving plane, you need...a grooving plane.
What are you looking at? Of course I can cut a groove without power tools!
When woodworking with new tools, never say anything more predictive than, "Watch this."
"You still here?"
In our latest issue, Moby decides to take on a new type of groove.
[Refer to pictures of techno artist Moby...it's uncanny]
What do you mean "the groove goes on the OTHER side???
caption: A groove plane that really flys!
Not all grooves are equal so there are two planes for the shop.
"Feelin Groovey"
"They MAKE MY DAY"
These are two great planes, I'm very surprized that someone has not started producing them in quantity!
And remember, it is not a manacure tool.
"I think my zipper is down, I hope that my shop apron covers it up for the picture."
Irrelevant; right or left; either one - it's a pushme/pullyou.
Your box. My wood. Groovy.
"I've just discovered that these planes are 'woody material' in more ways than one!"
I'm sorry, but after reading randyklein's "Walnut shavings from Birch ply - Shocking." I can't think of anything else.
... and just keep planing until all fingernails are an even, attractive oval shape.
Would You look and see if my thumb is still there.
These are so easy to use, I don't even have to look!
But it can't be blood. This is only a hand tool!
All these years as a tree hugger and I never knew that wood was so much fun to work with. Now I have gone from being in a rut to being groovy.
Hmmm, need to take a little off the right shoulder to even things out...
What? Me Worry?
How did Sam Maloof make all those darn chairs?
OK gang, lets get more seriouser! How about "Neat shavings, a smooth groove and no noise or dust!"
What do you mean "I just hit the record button."?
Feeling groovy? That router moves too fast, slow down take it easy with these hand made wooden grooving planes. Feeling groovy.
Wrong Edge? Whoops!
You look like your daydreaming.Watch your fingers.
Keep smiling you fool this is the last take, after all, t's only a thumbnail...
Howz my hair? Howz the glare? ;-)
Did you take the shot yet?
Walnut shavings from plywood? That's not walnut. It's English Elm. And it's an old alchemy trick I learned in school that lets me turn birch ply into imported English elm. Of course, I can't share that trick with you.
I am ready for my close up!
Finally, ambidextrous planes.
Look, it's so easy a caveman could do it...
Now kids, don't try this at home -- unless you remember to watch what you're doing.
Batteries not included!
Matthew Kenney demonstrates Zen woodworking: "You don't need to SEE the wood, if you can BE the wood."
Can you see this?? It's actually putting a groove here in the wood. These things really work! I'm a genius!!
Get your groove on!
What do you mean, it is supposed to be a right hand grove?
Lets get to feelin Groovy
planes smoother than my head!
"It's a Groovy Kind of Love."
Keep my eyes on my work!! What d ya mean? I'm already done with the box so I decided to put some "blind" grooves in, er, oops that's my workbench.
Yes, dear. I'm cutting the cheese for the party now...
For a first project. You can use them to build a box to store them in.
I think I've just sliced my thumb
Uh..Guys...I think I just Sh#t my pants.
Great picture of the plane and the bench hook. Now, if we could just see the workpiece...
Remember, guys, "Necessity is the mother of invention". These planes do groovy things. Why reinvent the wheel?
Yes, I just did my nails and now I will core a apple!
... and next month, we're going to teach you how to make this nifty storage box for your planes.
Yes, a plaid shirt does make me a woodworker!
... what do you mean, "you just planed the workbench"?
And behind me, those lovely shiplap wallboards were produced with this very plane.
Nails done? Check
You want me to do WHAT? Put a groove in Purpleheart?
Get in the Groove, plane and simple.
How do you spell "ROUTER"?
These planes can make even YOU look groovy!
Switch hitter planes
If you hold really still you can trim all your nails at the same time.
Saftety glasses, shmafety glasses...what I need is a tourniquet.
Growing pains with grooving planes
Groove is in the heart.....
This may not be the best time but....will you marry me?
And next week, if I stay on my medication, the Doctors are gonna let me groove on a real project
I feel just plane stupid!
No honey, that's ok if you forgot to pay last month's utility bill, I'm dealing with it for now. Man, I love these two babies...No honey I said "love you too, baby".
Matt:
Caption: "Wanna see my hand-cut fingernails?"
Dave Dent
Broomfield, CO
Wait, no I didn't say "Groovy planes with blades by Liam Neeson"!
Groove it
No Dear, I have not seen your case-hardened scissors.
Do you hear that groovy music?
"As you can see, with a minor adjustment in the plane iron, it dose a groovy job of trimming my hair and fingernails too!"
˝Sorry guys. I seem to be stuck here. Can somebody come and pull my finger?˝
It's a hand tool... and don't call me "Norm."
...and I want NO complaints when you discover you just made left-handed grooving planes.
Yea Man! Proving I'm grooving.
The results are a real smooth surface...just look at my head.
It's plane - Matt's moovin and groovin!
I asked Chris, "Why do I have to put this box in the picture?" but he won't text me back. I'm sure he'll explain when he gets back from the trade show.
Woodworkers: How they get their groove on.
The Plane Facts: How Woodworkers Get Their Groove On
And we can easily finish this project tomorrow!
Smooth to the Groove
"Neither a router nor a dadoer be; For a dado oft loses both itself and friend, and routing dulls the edge of craft". - Hal-matt (Act I, Scene III).
Well of course this is a right handed plane, the other one is a left handed plane. No, they don't come in metric...
Variations on a theme:
And, since I am playing a shop teacher today, I will now remove part of my thumb.
or
It is important, when playing the part of shop teacher, to remove just the right amount of thumb.
or
Of course I meant to take off the tip of my thumb -- I'm playing shop teacher today!
And notice how it groves thumbs just as easily and smoothly as both hard and softwoods.
Put another notch in your toolbelt with these great grooving planes!
And of course, these homemade grooving planes work equally well at removing fingertips so PLEEEASE be careful, OUCH!
See how easy it is to stay in the groove?
Into the groove, out of the router rut
Or
Plane groovey
SHOP MADE GROOVING PLANES FOR A SUSTAINABLE SHOP
Groovy dudes!
Uncle Fester: "Thing just went to get the mail. He'll be back momentarily. Perhaps you'd like me to try out some of these nifty torture devices on you, while you wait."
Developing a groovy kind of love for grooving planes
Geez, I used the left hand plane on the right side panel!
Don't look now, wait until I'm finished!
Yes I really do this for a living.
You think YOU'RE surprised that these things work!
It also works great for trimming your fingernails.
"Be a groove master in a flash with these planes"
Cutting grooves in lignum vitae? REALLY?
Yes, I like my tablesaw, but I love my FINGERS more.
"Look, Mom, no fingers!"
Hmmm, I wonder if this plane is hiding the arterial spray....?
The plane is so light, it must be held down with two hands.
Ummm, my left-hand plane just removed my right thumb. That wasn't in the script!!!
Despite my high school friends thoughts to the contrary, I really am a groovey kind of guy!
"OK, now that my right thumb is the correct thickness for the next project, back to you Norm..."
"Shake your Groove Thing"
"Sh!t, I just grooved my pool shooting thumb!!!"
Now if I could just figure out how to make one contoured to my head, this would make morning grooming faster.
Please use these only if you are in walking distance to a hospital...
Two planes. I made two planes, one for each direction of grain. So, which one did I pick for the cut I just made!?
Hey, my plane irons are razor sharp... my razor? Not so much.
This is the way we plane our dados, plane our dados, plane our dados, so early in the morning...
Matthew, I can't believe 470 some odd woodworkers posting bs here just to get a crack on the home made planes.
My comment when I see that picture is; Matthew is a fine Christian name, I hope you live up to that; I have 14 kids myself, most all have nice Christian names, and you would fit right in with my bunch; I like your "studio shop" with the T1-11 paneling on the background with all the wooden handle chisels spaciously decorating the wall; it looks like you were ready to say something when they shot the picture, something like "did you take the picture already?"; then right after you do your photo shot you take off your apron and go right back to your desk right around the corner to finish editing the next Fine Woodworking magazine.
Oh no, I fell in the same trap as 470 before me.
Pb.
Not only does it cut grooves, it also SLICES and DICES... and if you ORDER NOW, we'll also include our patented super deluxe 3-in-1 4-speed automatic kumkwat peeler.
It's groovy to be grooving with these groovy grooving planes.
Say it three times as fast as you can to win!
"I appeared to be more groovy when I had long hair back in the 1970's."
Fingernail trimming with hand planes is safe, fun and quiet.
I'm done with the grooves, are you still fiddling with that camera? Take the picture already!! What? You did? Oh.
But if you respond in the next 30 minutes we will send you two. Just pay shipping and handling for the second one.
"Grooooving . . . On a Sunday Afternoon"
Ooops. I think I should have moved my fingers.
I said ..."Of course, I don't need two pairs." Of course I lied.
Wow! I didn't know you could get plywood made from redwood!
After a tragic woodshop accident ripped the sleeves off his flannel shirt and caused his beard and hair to fall out, Norm Abram retired from TV and began a new career using only hand tools.
What exactly does that gesture mean??? ... oh, really -- sorry I asked!!
Put that thing down before you hurt yourself!!!
After efforts to earn his Barbering Merit Badge went awry, Matthew decided to try his hand at Woodworking.
or...
I plane, I groove, I inlay.
If you don't stop that, I'll have to call your mother!!
Does this make me look silly??
For silky smooth results every time, try the new Gillette Groom-n-Groove. Now, unwanted hair—and hardwood—is a thing of the past.
Finally a reminder from our Legal department: Although these are hand tools, they should not be used ON your hands.
Feeling Groovie?
Important safety tip folks - Always look where you're planing. Damn it, I think I just planed off the tip of my index finger !
You want to see my WHAT?
If that's supposed to be funny, you've got another think coming!!
Oh, yeah -- don't give up your day job!!
Oh, yeah -- don't give up your day job!!
Well, look what the cat dragged in!!
Check the bottom of your shoe -- I smell somthing and it's not perfume!!
Does anyone remember why I'm cutting these grooves?
OK, who brought the cool kid with the hand planes?
What do you mean? There are other ways to make a groove?
All right, that's it. If you break wind again you will have to leave my shop for good!!
Now do you believe me that cordless routers are quiet.
Um, wanna see how to make a really cool groove in your index finger?
Now add the sauce and stir through, making sure it throughly coats the...sorry, thought I was Nigella for a moment.
I think that last slice went through my thumb!
It also works great for trimming your fingernails.
Feelin groovy!
In the Groove!
Always, ALWAYS keep fingers clear!
These blades are so sharp that I shaved my head, then grooved a panel.
Folks, I've just grooved my fingernails. Turn off the cameras! Yeeeeeoooowww!
I'm not really a woodworker,I just play one on FWW.com.
MY FINGER POINTS!!!! I implore you to reconsider.
to groove or not to groove that is the question. well it would be a lot easier with my new groove plane.right....
A plain planer
"Do or do not...there is no try" - Yoda
Now without even looking you can easily make a groove in your board...or hand. Yeeeeouch!!!! Someone please get the first aid kit! Our next shop project will be the revered wood stretcher.
Planers do it with a groove.
You're kidding me! You mean everyone doesn't have a pair of these?
Hand tool man wonders how picture making machine works.
I can't explain this plane!
Caption: This is so groovy I can't talk right now.
Once you finish making these planes, you can really get your groove on.
Just groovin' along, mindin' my own business.
It doesn't work by pulling it back?
Would you buy a couple of used planes from this man?
...and there you have it...perfectly trimmed and grooved finger nails.
I simply will not complane about this pair
Let's get groovy!
Just getting my groove on.
See, much easier than selling cars.
Once again we prove
another smooth move
to make or improve
any kind of groove.
Yes, apparently it does trim thumbnails also!
Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...Feelin' Groovy.
Hey you WOODCHUCKS, QUIT chucking my WOOD!
Dude! This is SO smooth!
Tell me the truth, does this plane make me look fat?
Don't you need a grooving plane to make a grooving to maike a grooving plane???
Groovin' High
I can't believe all you guys out there are watching me and no one could bring me a cup of coffee!
When I finish showing you these planes, I think I'll
extend my subscription to fine woodworking....
Does anyone know if Fine Woodworking has a plan for a wider bench than the one I'm using now ??
In the next issue I will show you an attachment to these planes for sharpening your pencils!
This tool is just plane groovy!
Uh . . . remember what I said about not putting your bench dog directly in line with the groove?
Pay no attention to that bald guy holding the plane - the groove is down here!
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's super Matt!!!
Groovin' on a Sunday afternoon... or any afternoon...
Da plane! Da plane
or -
Its just very plane and simple!
And you waited until NOW to tell me I could have done this with a power tool!?!
and....a 1/8 inch groove in your fingernail can be filled in with a few shavings and some titebond!
If you write a clever caption, Matt will give you BOTH planes! Yes, you heard right! He'll even give you the one that works (after he got the design right.) Plane groovy, ain't it?
The plane in Maine goes mostly with the grain.
Oh hai, I can has hand planes?
I...I don't believe...did you see that? The wood actually WINKED at me!!!
Let me break it on down for you.
Safety lesson #1: Always be sure to keep your eye on the cameraman.
Im smooth like macaroni.
Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...Feelin' Groovy
♪♪ Shake your groove plane, shake your groove plane, yah, yah, show 'em how to build 'em now. ♪♪♪
Did anyone see the grooves on those twins!!
Now here's a plane that you can highjack !
I came, I saw, I grove planed.
This is plane silly! Enough takes already!
Hi, I'm groovy groovin' Matt. If your into bald guys who wear plaid and an apron, call me.
I'd give away these beautiful grooving planes and my right arm for a full head of hair!
Give a man a groove plane he will thank you for a day. Teach him how to make groove plains and he will be out of your hair for a lifetime. (Bye Al!)
"Uh!" "Am i doin' this right?" "I need to finish this thing...I've gotta a PLANE to catch"
And now the latest in our spring fashion collection.
For woodworkers: Note the new deeper colours of our aprons and the coordinated plaid. Also the slightly shorter sleeves allowing more freedom of movement. A true fashion statement for the sophisticated artisan.
You know you've done a good job sharpening when the end of yur finger comes off with almost no pain at all.
Uhmmm? What was I saying?
Do you seriously want me to mail these to New Zealand?
I don't care if it was good for you...it was great for me.
Why did I bet I would shave my head if these planes weren't great?
(In Dan Ackroyd's Julia Child voice . . )
"Right, so in order to have a smooth groove we have to have a very sharp plane, and give it good shove forward . . . . Oh, now I've done it, I've cut the dickens out of my finger . . . You know, I'm glad in a way this happened, we spend so much time in the shop but never discuss what to do when you nearly take your finger off . . . oooo . . . .as it happens, sawdust is quite good as a coagulant to help slow the bleeding . . . Why are you all s-s-spinning . . . . I'm remembering a time when I was a little boy and I had a dog named Amber . . . . I, I think I'm going to go to sleep now . . . ."
For all of you who've been grooving for these planes...
After weeks of sole searching, I've finally found my groove!
It was plane to see.
My first real chance on live TV; and I just pooped in my pants!
In a dark, twisted world, senior editor, Matthew Kenney is dumbfounded when confronted in his workshop by…Al!
You really think I look like Moby???!!!!
Oops.... that was a finger.....
Now power tool users everywhere can work guilt-free with the "Insta Kenney". Simply unpack this faux pro from his fine crafted storage box, prop him up next to your bench, and machine away!
Good Shave? I use a straight edge razor. This is for woodworking. Duh!
grooving the easy way, without hearing protection.
OK Matt, now for the money shot! Can we get a shot of you using both of them at the same time? Uh, Matt ...
Woodworking can be Groovy
Jay Broadwell
[email protected]
My wife wanted to know why I have 4 router tables, 17 routers and make all that noise, when I could have made a couple of these planes years ago and not kept her up all night finishing those last minute projects.
Matt Kenney was meditating while planing a drawer when he suddenly understood the meaning of life. Thousands now seek out Buddha Kenney to learn enlightenment through grooving planes.
At THIS rate, it will take all night to do this whole board!
Okay....that hurt..
That's the last time I'll ever make a "Chinese finger puzzle" plane. Now if only I can remember how to extricate my thumbs from this thing...
I thought you wanted a salami slicer!
TRYING to be groovy!
Tounging the Groove!
What do you mean "you changed your mind and now want a ROUND box"??
Matt appears perplexed as the photographer snaps his picture and exclaims, "I'll call it MATT Gets His Grove On." "what don't ya get it?"
This is a real groovy nail parer!
Yes, I do have a farmers tan!
It's amazing how easy it is to get the grooves. Now I'm using my new plane WITH the blade.
So... I pushed it to the end... and then what do I do?
Another way I use these planes is for making snacks in the kitchen. I like to use them on celery to get a perfect groove down the center of the stalk. It makes it a lot easier to get the peanut butter to look uniform, and my guests just love it!
Check me out as I get all groovy with my bad, plaid clad self!
When cutting a groove, always take stock of your fingers: 1, 2, 3, 4... Uh OH!
. . . if you keep it nice and sharp, you can shave your head with it.
I'm thinking I might ask out that new chick from Lie-Nielsen. If things go well I might be showing her my groove-face. "Groove... Groove... Groove!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Groove!"
White men can groove too!
and that is the "plane truth".
Custom M.Kenny Grooving Planes; now for sale at finewoodworkings online store. Order yours today.
Rats! If I would have watched what I was doing, instead of Movin' and a Groovin', I won't of cut up the top of my workbench!
It's plane to see you can get into the groove.
The best way to stay in the groove is to make one.
Getting in the Grove is so hard in plaid!
"Plane" and simple, Matt Kinney was elated by the prospect of the endless puns that his latest article was bound to inspire.
Mom, you forgot your humidor again!! I have to remind her these are grooving planes and not cigar cutters.
"Cruising in the Groove"
Seriously, you forgot to remove the lens cap?
Customized Tools for a Personal Groove
It's a great feeling to use a shop-made tool that works as well as this one does.
Four grooves and seven saw-dusts ago our fine woodworking fathers planely brought us a groovy groover.
My parents went to Newtown and I'll I got was these groovin' planes.
The plane truth.
Now I'll demonstrate how endagered groving plane shavings can be mistaken for the extinct dado turds.
I had forgotten how tired I can quickly become by doing this!
Plane crazy about woodworking.
This is how I get my grove on!
Just "Groovin" On A Sunday afternoon
"Send this to the moron at table 4 who says our fettuccine is always too soft!"
What do you mean "the groove goes on the other side?"
feeling grovey
Just remember, These planes are wonderful for woodworking. Do NOT try to use them in metalworking.
Yes.. I do have other short sleeve flannel shirts!
So easy, even an editor can do it!
That is all there is to it. Questions?
Nothing says "woodworking" like hairy arms and a good plane. On second thought, I should probably let the planes speak for themselves.
An easier way of getting your groove on :)
What do you mean you lost all the pictures! You want me to make these again?
I spent years trying to understand the Mona Lisa smile and now this?
"Nothing gets you into the groove like a pair of handmade grooving planes", says senior editor Matthew Kenney.
What do you mean the other pair is broken? I'm not giving them mine!
Notice how I can present a neutral expression as I groove my thumb.
"And the plane just went through my thumb like butter" Is the camera still running?
Get that camera out of my face can't u see I'm in a groove?
This must be the fellow from "Planes,Trains and Automobiles
caption: In the wood (to groove)
My wife thinks I'm working!
"And remember, to always watch where you are cutting with hand tools. It will avoid damage to your work piece, and possible loss of fingers. Like the three on my left hand."
"Just Plane Groovy"
You can make this plane for the price of a haircut!
Planely, This is how I got my groove on.
You're the GROOVY GROOVER if there ever was one!
What do you mean "the plane iron just hit the floor?"
That camera is soooooooo pretty.......
GROOVY IS AS GROOVY DOES
GROOVY IS AS GROOVY DOES
No, this is a grooving plane. I use the smoothing plane to comb my hair.
Was that my finger?
And now I will show you the newest thing in cosmetology - grooved nails.
And I do what next ?
Feelin' groovy is just sooo faaarrrrr out!!!!
Groovy is as groovy does.
If I would have made these for a 1/4" groove I could have kept them!
Well it is a HAND plane afterall!!
Next I'll show how to personalize your plane with an inlay of human skin! All made possible with matching grooving planes.
What? Only 675 entries? Doesn't anybody want these things? Just kidding of course. Great job every body. Of course, I had no idea that groovy could be worked into so many different statements. And oh, thanks to everyone for pointing out all of my shortcomings (farmer's tan, baldness, ugly plaid shirt, etc.). Remind me not to invite you folks over on a regular basis!
"Now we'll try it with the blade installed."
I should've had Norm do this!!!!
Sometimes ya gotta respect the wood and shape it, not torture it!
This freakin thing is sharp, I just lost 3 fingers and a thumb!
Dang . . . If only I could remember where I put those dado blades. :(
Yo Matt . . . . if I knew you were making an extra pair for me . . . I wouldn't have kept bugging you for the directions!
I laughed when I read your post, "Hello, Al"!
"Easy smeasy....DOH!!!!!...thats going to leave a mark!"
There's the groove for the drawer bottom. Now if I can just learn to cut dovetails, I'll have a drawer!
I am totally green. no noise except the song of the plane as it sings to me
Of course the reason I made two of these handy tools is so I can keep the left-handed hand plane for myself!
You want me to give them my what?!!
These aren't called grooving planes? Why didn't anyone tell me that before now?
Today on Julia Child's Kitchen we will be preparing........
Now I have to learn to sharpen the blades using my right hand also.
I bet my hair these would be hard to make.
We cropped this shot in close so you can't see the table saw dado setup that I used to make this box...but really, these grooving planes work really well too.
Cleared for Landing!
Cleared for Landing!
I'm not changing it. It's my favorite shirt!
Man, I'm in the groove!
Planes to the left of me,
Small box project to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the groove with you.
Do WHAT! You want me to GIVE these away!
Where do I plug this thing in?
"What? Me worry?
Uh Oh! I think I just gooved my thumb. I have to stop looking at the camera.
Next, we'll use a pair of shop-made shoulder planes to straighten up these uneven shoulders of mine.
"Groovy .... on any afternoon"
Woodworking without dust, halalulia.
No dust, no noise, and a place to put that extra finger.
“Wait, wait, just one more take, please don't call in that CS guy, I know I can do it.”
April 29th, perfect day for a birthday (present).
FW - taking the plain out of planing.
As you can see hand planing is very easy and requires little effort.
Oh my, I think I just took the tip off my right index finger!
Oh my, I think I just took the tip off my right index finger!
For the last time, Yes! I used to be a surgeon.
Would you believe I can't find my router.
I love a good plane that can make curly ribons, it makes me want to sing... Curly Q-I Love You!
"I'll just make this little groove right here. That'll be our little sectet."
-Bob Ross on his new show, "The Joy of Grooving", and a brave new spokesman for male pattern baldness.
Thought bubble: (I like kitties)
The world first blind woodworker
"tlofurniture, you won the planes!"
-Matthew Kenney, Senior Editor
"...and this is how you lacerate your fingers!"
Groovy planes, but not as groovy as my farmer's tan!
Groove time!
A fingernail-trimming shooting board seemed like a good idea!
Groov'n planes hipper than my plaid shirt!
Tsk! Groovy? That's your take?
You never have enough tools (planes)
Did I say DADO? I meant Groove..Groove I never could keep those straight.
I never knew "plane" could be so much fun!
Yes!?! I AM in the groove!
Now, could you please get me out of it!
If this was a tablesaw could i do this?
It slices, it dices! Ooo, I feel just like Julia Childs! La, la laaaa!
Forged, heat treated, ground
Matt Kenney’s planes were we found,
Respected, desired
It's an optimystical, practicabeautiful, experience !!
Yes these will make Tab A and Slot B, but remeber it is Tab A into Slot A and Tab B into Slot B.
Yes these will make Tab A and Slot B, but remeber it is Tab A into Slot A and Tab B into Slot B.
Yes these will make Tab A and Slot B, but remeber it is Tab A into Slot A and Tab B into Slot B.
Look at the wood, not the camera, otherwise you trim you thumbnail like I just did! OOOOWWW!
Now let me get this straight. There's a way to do this with electricity? You're kidding, right?
My barber even uses these planes!
Can I keep the planes and give away this flannel shirt instead?
Put that camera down and hand me the router!
Your instructions on planing are so clear that I don't even have to look at my board while working on it. Thank you Fine Woodworking !
Groovy Baby!
I can't look ... how bad am I bleeding?
See Bob I told you these grooves were easy to make. You want a set? Make em yourself!
See Bob I told you these grooves were easy. You want a set? Make em yourself.
See in back? They ship-lap too!
But Wait! There's MORE!!
... and now I demonstrate how I get my groove on.
"It puts a groove in the wood. It does whatever it's told. Now it places the planes in the basket. Put the planes in the basket!"
You'll find that these planes make such a sweet, sweet groove, they are worthy of exhibit in the Louvre.
Hey Daddy-o, It's just groovy working in the joint were I work wood in the groove listening to the sounds of my hand planes cutting wood.
...does all that and more!And if you call right now I'll throw in a set of shopmade ginsu knives ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Wait....what was I talking about???
How Matthew Kenney got his groove back!
"What do you mean i should add more dust to make it look like im a real woodworker?!!!"
Just like an air traffic controller . . . you can even do this in your sleep!
Goofy lookin',but plane groovy!
There was a man from Camden
Who made boxes with a saw.
His joy was not at the machine end
So he built a box "au natural".
See what I did there? It's that plane easy! Right Mr. bigglesworth?
And that folks is why you try to ignore the camera. It seems that I just sheared off the tip of my finger. It's here somewhere, have you seen it?
In an effort to reach a broader audience, Matt Kenney was selected to succeed Billy Mays as a direct response advertising salesperson.
Why? Because it is Sunday afternoon.
Freud Stacked Slotting Set - $100
Triton 2 1/4 HP router - $230
Oneida 1.5 HP Mini Gorilla - $980
Jessem Rout-R-Plate Table - $400
Grooving planes that I can use while the rest of my house sleeps - Priceless.
Yes I am single, why do you ask?
Well yes, it does work.
... and after just 15 hours of hard work we have groove. Next one will be faster... (if I will remember where the planes are)
What! You want me to give these planes away!
For this photo shoot, can I get my usual fee plus a free haircut?
It's not doing anything...Oh no, I forgot to build the battery compartment.
Getting Groovy in the workshop: Aprons and flannel are finally back in style! Ok just kidding but only about the apron and flannel. Our Matt Kenney show you how to get a good groove going on your projects without the danger and dust or power tools.
$%^**&^%#, GOD that HURTS
Grooving,on a Sunday afternoon...
[matt] Whadda you mean, "Cut" I have already cut the darn grooves. [man behind the camera] Well, I forgot to turn the camera on so just fake it so we can get this in the can. [matt] How about I put you in the can you %^# idiot.
Hello woodworkers what ya knowing, did you come to see my shavin' pile growin'
Would you like to win some groovin' planes? Do do do do ...........Feeling Groovy.
If photographed at the right angle, no one will notice it didn't cut anything...
Experience the hair-raising excitement of building your very own grooving planes.
Do I amuse you?
What did the groove plane say to the woodworker? Stuck in a rut?
Cuts so sweet I cut too deep
Mummy, I just did a silly thing don't leave me.
This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed at home,and this little piggy Whoops.
Plane For the Perfect Grove...Easy to make
Plane For the Perfect Grove...Even You can Make it
Start off with a little, than a little bit more, than some more....dam too much!
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to ME? Well I'm the only one here.
Why yes my wardrobe reflects my passion for woodworking. The apron represents dark walnut and the blue and light brown shirt represents walnut's sapwood and the water it holds. Oh, I'm so sorry you were asking about the tools?
Outtake? Whaddya mean outtake. This is a great picture of me. Why does every picture of me end up on the cutting room floor? Asa, Michael, Chris...they all get closeups. Me? I'm just a hand model. Fine Gardening said they would give me a centerfold.
...choosing stains?...I thought you said we were covering grooving planes. These are handmade!!
Doing things by hand is the "green" way to go, with the cost of electricity these work great and are energy efficient.
How Matthew got his groove back...
Life is just plane groovy!
... and if you call within the next 15 minutes I'll throw in another plane for free!
What do you mean I have to give these away? How about I give away my old ones instead!
What do you mean I have to give these away? How about I give away my old ones instead!
whoops!
I really must concentrate and get back in the groove!
Look at me I can groove without looking!!!
Does this apron make me look fat?
Groovin' to a fine line!
"Bottoms Up!"
"Just Plane Groovy!"
"Trench Warfare"
"In the trenches with Matt!"
A very smooth move to get in the groove!
get in the groove, with just plane wood.
You think I am doing What?
Yes, this is an apron, but I'm not cooking.....and these shavings are not onions and I'm not crying!....but I do need a band-aid....hurry!
I believe I've discovered a new twist to a plane rut!
I'm afraid they don't come in pink extra long versions. Something made you think they did?
Whoops! This groove is too narrow, let me change channels.
Yes that's right!! This is how I get my groove on.
step 1, always remember to move your fingers away from the area to be planed. (don't ask how i know about that)
Experience the passion, enjoyment and accuracy of using hand tools.
Hurry up and take the picture! I really have to pee!
CHEESE!!!!
Yes, Charlie Brown is my relative.
Moby shows off his humidor.
'Ow! I think that I just planed a groove through my right thumb!'
Hi my name is Matt Kenny I'm not only the Groove club president I'm also a client!
Yes, it is a "grooving" plane!
I don't split hairs when it comes to making a quality hand made plane.
Planing art in a groovy plane of thought.
Make my day!!!
Hey Matt, what's wrong, I've been doing this for hours and there still isn't any groove.
Second place wins a foot powered pole lathe.
La la la la la laaaaa, feelin' groovy... groovy...
I wish, I could remember what I was going to next. OH! I remember, no that wasn't it. OH well!
Oh! I didn't see you come in... you got a pretty mouth boy...
What do you mean..."the hole's not for trimming cigars"?
Take the bloody picture alr*click*eady
These grooving planes are really versatile - AND I've saved a ton of money on haircuts since I made them!
"You want fries with that?
"With a pair of these handplanes you'll be feeling groovey in no time"
Caption: "Feelin' Groovy?"
"Looking for fun and deep satisfaction? - Feelin Groovy"
Just GROOVIN ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON. COULD'NT GET AWAY TO SOON.
(YOUNG RASCALS)
In this 2011 update of "The Addams Family," Matthew Kenney portrays wacky Uncle Fester, shown here waiting for Thing to emerge from his box to lend a helping hand.
"The best way to demonstrate the smoothing plane was to use my scalp. So the best way to demonstrate the grooving plane must be to use my butt!"
I never said anything going airplaneing, I said I was going to do some planeing
Well let me tell you... I don't think there is anything more pleasing then to hear a plane you have made peal off little curls of wood, it's why i love hand tools ....
What, I gotta make two more planes??!!?? And I gotta give them away??!!?? C'mon, man!!
...and it's just that easy, OH #@$#!!!
Sometime there isn't a Christian word to describe how you feel, especially just after cutting a groove across your fingernail.
There once was a man from Connecticut,
Who did not look down at the grooves that-he-cut,
The planes were handmade,
And with them he displayed,
An example of Fine Woodworking etiquette.
"Am i doing it right?"
Wow, Matt, 840+ submissions!
Seems to me like a great response!
As an editor, you may appreciate
my edited version:
Our editor, Matt, from Connecticut,
Did not look down on the grooves that-he-cut,
His planes were handmade,
And with them he displayed,
His version of Fine Woodworking etiquette!
Yes there is a right and a left way to use these planes!
Matt looks up with disbelief and wonder as he is notified of his invitation to the Royal Wedding!
No disrespect to the winner, but the winning comment didn't have anything to do with the photo shown. I'm disappointed that more creativity wasn't involved in the evaluation.
What do you mean they have power tools that can do this?
What you want a Piece of me.
After carefully removing the nail from my left thumb, I place the severed nail against the wedge of the plane. Then, I am ready to plane a perfect thumbnail profile on the edge of this workpiece.
"Best of all, you too can make a set, just like these, in a few easy steps. I'll show you how!"
"Groovinn.... on a Sunday afternoon..."
I think I just put a groove in my finger
Do you think this grooving plane makes me look fat?
Does this grooving plane go with my apron?
Something along the lines of "Now lets shape your Groove thing" .... or "shaping your groove thing" ... to make a play on shake your groove thing... obviously. or just plain old "Shape Your Groove Thing" yep, thats the one. simple, yet effective... and not too cheesy! I guess they are teaching me SOMETHING in my second year majoring in marketing and business at UofM!
oh wow... yea that winning caption was terrible... from a business/marketing major I can tell you with knowledge of this type of thing... and wow.... can we really blame social media for the collapse in journalistic integrity? ..... or are we just all jumping on the bandwagon straight to mad libbing the new york times...
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