Don’t know about you ……

but, this is how us blue collar crusty carpenters like makin bread boards.

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No mortised handmade miters, baltic bamboo butterflies, or a slidin sassafrass slip fit.

No swirlin CNC strings or dizzy three D patterns, makin you have to sit down just from lookin at it.

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No impossible inlays made from that bird eyed Buzinga, spalted spruce and quilted cocabola.

No loopy live edges or turquoise filled tunnels that look like green fungi laced granola.

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No ivory or bony inlays or burly butcher block end grain, always warpin, and crackin and shit.

No usin 9 different wood species from 7 different continents,

….. then spazzin out when GOP Gibson does it.

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No woodworkin website threads with replies from 159 white collar, auto pencil pushin,

Festool fetish rubbin, Roubo bench bangin, Gold member Guild geeks,…. goin frickin insane,

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“How do I cut a perfectly square 2×2″ bread board block with my new L&N #1 hand plane?”

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No exotic wood store excursions, hand selectin crotched, quilted and quarter sawn grains

……. no one else will ever see.

No spendin 289.50 for a pile a wood you can carry in one hand, five exotic wood fillers,

…… and a How To DVD.

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Ain’t no reason wastin good cutoffs like a 1×8 piece a maple from drawers

I’m makin for a good payin project.

Ain’t no sense in wastin daylight makin a Bread Board so nice,

nobody would ever want to cut nuttin on it.

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Ain’t no need spendin money makin wall hangin wood art,

ya can’t even cut up a tomato on …. for fear a rinsin it!

Ain’t no way runnin it through the power planer

and gettin a nice clean cuttin surface on it!

.

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No sir, makes no common sense at all,

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…. always figured cut offs were for bread cuttin.

what do I know….. nuttin makes sense no more, ….. nuttin.

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